Moving up and out

A few drops of tears came falling down on my cheek when I was looking through the big pictures, little greetings cards, and lovely notes. It was a pretty emotional moment for me.

I opened up my cabinet, and my eyes went straight to the very bottom of the cubicle.

And I found this. My best recollections of events back in the States. I always wanted to get them organized in an album or a scrapbook, but I failed miserably. I just don’t seem to find the time to get it done.

It was really amazing thinking how I came across Bonnie and Greg. We started off being strangers coming from different part of the world, different skin color, different nationality, race, and culture, yet we ended up to forge a close bond between us. And it was merely 6 months yet it felt like we have known each other for a lifetime.

Greg is really a laidback person. I enjoyed our father and daughter talk in front of the front yard; having fun cooking new dishes with Bonnie, how we shopped from shop to shop to look for my prom dress; Practiced pitching and batting with Jonas at the basement, I even helped him to cover up when he was caught in troubles. The funniest one will be changing Edward’s poopy diaper without any adult guidance and supervision. Hah.

I miss them. I really do.

I had my first taste being a country girl, experiencing wheel-barrowing; my very first time snowboarding, getting in touch with the hippies, yuppies and bike messenger in downtown; got an A for my Spanish which I have no idea how I managed it; got my hair shouting in bright burgundy highlights; attended my first Portland Timbers Soccer game; and meeting lovely friends like Joe Bernard and Nicole Tomkins.

The 6 months experiences that I had is something beyond words can described. Something that is so precious and dear to me, that I wouldn’t exchange anything with it. Not even a scholarship. People might think I was being stupid and naïve for letting the scholarship slipped by. Even if I would turn back time, my decision will still remain as it is. Like it or not, it has been part of me. That’s explained why Aaron quoted me as being Americanized.

I don’t want to sound corny, but America is a big chuck of cheese rich of opportunities to be explored. Their cultures are diversifying, their creativities are inspiring, and this is what I call a ‘melting pot’. Mind you, Malaysia has stop melting for quite some time. Wearing tie-dyed shirt and listening to Bob Marley is not an everyday affair, not in Malaysia. But I learn to get personal with the locals' culture, and at the same time take pride of my root and identity.

I know that being stuck in my own bubble is not going to take me far, I need to break through and I’m glad I did. My adaptability was put into test but I was given a chance to learn and grow little by little. Looking back, I was at the age of 18. I took a risk and it paid off richly.

Likewise, at the age 20, I guess it’s time to get my ass off from my comfort zone, and experience another break through. Maybe it is the right time for me to experience the other dimensions of life and explore new discoveries. Moving out is not what I afraid of, but it is the possibility of having financial difficulties freak me off. I guess a little doubts and fear is not all unhealthy. If I am broke, I can always come to you for free dinner huh? *hinting*

I may fall, and end up having bruises along the way, but its part of growing up. Trust me, growing up is a love or hate thing.

I believe that when you in point A, God will take you to Point B, and when you are in Point B, you will discover Point C and this lead to Point D. It just matter of taking the first step. The question for me is do I have faith? Or do I rely on sight?

This is me. Celebrating my new found freedom :)