And I want a bite of it.
This semester is been pretty energy draining. The flame is not burning as strong as it used to be. I just lacked of motivation, the drive and the enthusiasm to get things right. Trust me, it’s annoying sometimes. Worst still, sometimes frustration.
I questioned myself. Am I just tired of traveling to college? Am I just burned out with all the dreaded ASSignments and deadlines? Am I lacked of spiritual food? Am I missing the significant one? It’s like I’m an engine with a loosen screw. But the problem is I have no ideas which loosen screw to tighten.
I prayed.
And I know….
It’s the same damn daily routine that makes me sick. I realized how routine and robotic my life is. I’m not talking about academic and social life. Academic life is been pretty hectic as usual with the overflowing of papers and quizzes. Social life has never been a problem to me. But what I’m saying here is the whole daily life itself.
It’s so routine that it reaches at a point that freaks me out. You know what I’m saying: the usual routine of going to college, attending classes, chilling out and going back home. I met the same old people in the bus. Believe it or not, I can be a professional stalker just by observing them for two days. I found out from where they live, where they work, time they go work and time they back home, to the brand of cell phones they used, language they spoke, shoes they wore and guess what? One of the guys just bought a new Dickers messenger bag.
I’m not proving that I’m a stalker wannabe (hee...) My point is that my daily life has been so robotic. It’s like all set in a system. Sometimes I wonder what if I take a different route to college. What if I smile at a stranger? What if I wear a baju kurung to college? What if I shave my hair bald? ( No way…!!) I just want to break out from the shell, break away from the norm. Sometimes I do meet some cute guys in midst of heavy traffic at Federal Highway *innocent grin* I remembered once I met a girl smiling at me from the outside window of the bus, and she made my day!
My foundation year is going to end by this August. I’m still deciding whether to enter my uni year right away or wait till January 2009. I’m not sure what I’m going to do for the 5 months break. One thing for sure, my travel bug has bitten me! I thought of taking a break again… see I use the word again?!! Or else get a job. But the thought of going back to Oregon or maybe flying to Australia actually strike my mind. Well, I will see how it goes.
Once again I want to enrich my life, experience the other dimensions of life and explore new discoveries.
I always encounter those JPA scholars talking about scholarships, studies and going to overseas. It’s like 90% of their conversation are revolved with all those things. Well, to me it’s understandable at one point because these are what we students concerned about. But most of the time, I will roll my eyes (bad siyan, bad!!). I always wanted to ask them. Is this your life? It’s sad if it is. Have you really embrace the wonder of life? Experience what life can offer you? Have you challenge yourself and create a legend? Why it always have to me, myself and I? What have you done to make a difference? Let’s not talk about saving the poor or feeding the hunger, how about a simple act of letting your seat to a senior citizen? Those JPA scholars just sat there happily chatting concerning about their future yet there was a 70 plus uncle standing wobbly in front of them. Sometimes when I was pms-ing, I really want to shout in front of their face out loud saying “ You moron, people with smart brains!! Are you blind?” hahaha..I wish I did that.
For now, I want to wrap myself in my snug blanket with good books and a hot chocolate in this rainy morning; or catch some old time cartoon or chick flicks with my darling friends.
Cheers!
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