Eyes of my heart

I have so much to write, but never quite sure where to start. Funny isn’t it? There are just too many tales, just too many.

For the past 2 weeks, I was utterly tired and drained. Admittedly, I have never worked this hard before. Now I’m simply beyond pleased that the Challenge has ended, and strangely enough, the grand prize doesn’t seem as significant as before. We could have pump in loads of money, just like what the other leading team was doing. Oh, the reality of money! Again at the end of the day, F&N will only be the biggest winner, and none of us. We are not the champions, and we definitely are not the smartest business persons around. But, we played fair and well :)

Beneath the layers and layers of sweat and blood, I’m thankful to cross the path of many kind hearts, many wonderful conversations, many new faces, and the many novelty experiences. Perpetually God has been faithful, and His words have been such a great comfort and ease upon my soul. And there, are my tears of gratefulness.

***

Not too long ago, I had a 30 minutes skype talk with Bonnie. In between pauses, there are lost of words, awkward and silent seconds. But I’m glad we take the time to fill in the gaps, knowing that the shine between the Kotts and I can never be taken away. The little things like pictures and notes on my wall are traces of their presence, reminding me of their much love and acceptance, after all these 3 and half years. And there, are my tears of contentment.

***

And recently, my friend has passed away. He has a history of epilepsy and apparently, he died in his sleep. Exactly in this month on last year, we were happily catching up with old times, without expecting anything much. And early this year, he called and went on telling me, how great a friend I am to him. The last time we talked, he wasn't really a happy kid. And I thought of calling him up again, meeting him sometime on next month, on his birthday, when our friend Steven is back from UK. But now it doesn't matter anymore, not to him while for me, it’s just...you know, heart breaking having to read his obituary in the papers. And there, are my tears of grief. 

I’m fine. 

But for today, just for today, I want to lay my tummy on the floor, read a book in a corner and yearn for the much needed rest and silence.