Pinprick of Time

Making meaning

2012-01-30T08:09:00.000-08:00

A big welcome home to myself, on this blog I have abandoned for a month now! A little fast forward to time, I had came back from my 2-week backpacking trip, graduated from university, celebrated my 23^rd birthday and soon, coming to end of Chinese New Year.

The month of January has been very much eventful. I have so much to tell, from my travel stories to life lessons. But for some strange reasons, I couldn’t put these thoughts and state of being into words yet. So far it has been a revolutionary time, which is the best kind! The transition of graduating from university and entering into the working force is definitely both a scary and exciting feeling. I must say the transition is timely and much needed. It is an amazing feeling to know that what I wanted at the end is what I wanted in the beginning.

The puzzle of growing up is gradually taking shape. I am just hoping that it does not consume me wholly. Rather I want to surge forward and adapt what life has throw at me and be the best that I could, at the same time, I also want to be the old, indulgent, happy me. At the end of the day, what I want is simple- I want to be making meaning of my life.

Wish me luck on my first day of work! I feel like a kid going back to school again :)

Blue bird by the meadow

2011-12-29T07:36:00.000-08:00

This year Christmas was pleasant. Pleasant enough that it wasn’t too big a festive or too quiet an affair. Just right in between. My household had a simple family dinner, with mum’s signature dish and freshly baked blueberry muffins. It felt somewhat empty though, knowing that dad is away with grandma in the hospital. Well grandma was undergoing an operation after got attacked by stroke. Doctor reckoned she would be bedridden for about 3 to 6 months before she is able to mobile again. The devastated news was that grandma is almost going blind, though she still has some useful sights of fuzzy vision. Low vision they called. She is in the midst of recovering, at least I hope. News like this comes around and casts a cloud over my household especially on this festive season. As hopeful as I am always, this season had taught me to treasure my health and cherish my days.

Still as cliché as it sounds, I rejoice in the many blessings I received. I came home and saw a Christmas parcel resting in the living room; along with a card on my table. Later I received a surprise phone call from a good friend of mine. It is beautiful thing to know that I am loved by so many people, both far and near. The parcel was brimmed with Christmas goodies with my favourite Trader’s Joe cookies and chocolates, comfort food that I definitely missed having back in the States. Bestie Ling got me a framed card with a picture of both of us making silly faces. Just too cute! I agreed with her that it captures our innocence and childishness essence quite nicely! A postcard was found inside the card too, with a picture of a girl holding helium balloons strolling in the midst of honey brown meadow. A very pretty one I must say. Meanwhile with the limited time, I quickly whipped through several Christmas cards with some leftover papers, felt and doilies. Well the cards didn’t manage to send out in time. Still the process of crafting was delightful, and to have loved ones to spread some Christmas joy with definitely doubles up the happiness. True enough, this season taught me that it is utterly an amazing thing to love and to be loved. It is especially meaningful knowing that space and time differences have not departed the love away.

As this year winds down, I’m thinking about happiness, goodness, laughter and being blessed. I received a timely reminder from bestie Ling and indeed, this year definitely has marks off a supreme year- me getting a part-time job that pays decently to fund for my Aussie trip; me travelling around with Bon and Greg; me embarking on my Aussie trip; me finishing my thesis...it has been an eventful year with well, loads of travelling (no complain though)! Very soon, I will be closing this chapter of life and flipping into the unwritten adventures. I do feel somewhat sentimental about leaving university where I spent close to 4 years, which undoubtedly added the many fabrics of my life. But I am waiting for a closure, a proper closure before I call myself a graduate student. Meanwhile the road ahead seems unfamiliar but exciting. I choose to see beauty and strive for greatness. I choose to feel good to be lost, to be adventurous. To be adventurous is to explore always, and to find myself whole. To be adventurous is to have a story of my own.

Have a blessed and wonderful New Year ahead filled with wisdom, kindness, happiness and most importantly, love.

A mighty smile

2011-11-25T21:21:00.000-08:00

Somehow I just haven't gotten around to blog on my Aussie trip. As much as I want to, life as a final semester student is busy. But I have no complain, in fact I'm savoring it as much as I can. More stories soon, I promised.

Not too long ago, I received an email from a friend with an attached picture. It was a picture taken by me, which I have vaguely remembered. Ahh, moments like that are like reliving my memories! Such precious.

Carry Me

2011-11-12T23:24:00.000-08:00

You lead me in to Your courts
Surround me with Your love
I walk with You
I do not fear

In this place
Dreams are made
In this place
Where You are
Carry me here
In Your arms of love
Draw me close to You
I want to be where You are
I want to be where You are

You carry me, You are my strength
I've learnt to trust in You
And once again
I'm reaching out

Reflection

2011-10-30T03:10:00.000-07:00

I vividly remember this snapshot. It was taken on a cold drizzly morning. Raindrops were so delicate that they looked almost invisible. My bestfriend was sitting beside me working on her Economics tut questions while I was residing in my own world, starring blankly at the window. Not until I saw this little fellow"s reflection.

October has come and gone, what are your reflections thus far?

Today is the day

2011-10-23T02:31:00.000-07:00

It has been a rainy season for the past weeks. Despite a brief downpour, today is such a pretty day. I love the pleasant smell of after rain. I love how the breeze ruffled gently through my hair. I love how the neighborhood can be so calming and soothing. I think it is a perfect day to have a lazy read, drink a hot chocolate, watch a cartoon, write a letter, sing a love song, pick a flower, jump on a trampoline...a perfect day to do everything.

Miles away

2011-10-07T22:00:00.000-07:00

Down with a mild flu and cold can be quite a restlessness but oh boy, am I glad to be back home! Little do I know a bowl of piping hot ABC soup can be so comforting for the soul (and the tummy) on a rainy night! Blissfully contented, just blissfully contented.

Consistently filling up in this space is starting to be quite a chore now! But I do steal some time off to fill in this space religiously on every other week, or at least I try. Life is just too busy, hah! I have lots of things in store for the past few weeks and also, these coming few weeks! Just done with my week-long part-time job and currently in the midst of busy working on my assignments, thesis and preparing for my mid-terms, attending an event or two and lots lots more! Despite life is busy, I would say life has been pretty good too in putting everything in place!

I foresee there more days that I will be away from this space, still I will drop in a note or picture whenever I can. Definitely there are more stories to share! Meanwhile, I hope you all have a great week ahead!

Webify me

2011-09-23T01:25:00.000-07:00

I came across this fun quiz called Webify Me. It is a simple 20 questions quiz about your online habits and once answered, it will create a custom mosaic of your web life. You then are allowed to click on each item of your mosaic to reveal the pop-up descriptions for a more in-depth look of your web habits.

It is pretty accurate but I reckon to take the quiz because it is fun, quirky and a perfect activity for a lazy weekends!

Here are the breakdown of what some of the item in my mosaic represents:

Pop Magazine - Why, look at you. Clearly, you bear the mark of The Fierce. You know what's hot, but rock your own style, and can dance on that fine line that separates dandy from dowdy.

Sketchbook - Entire worlds can be captured within a little sketchbook, worlds both real and imagined. You use many different tools to communicate your vision, Traveler.

Puppet- Everything's better with a monkey in it. Monkeys are fun, smart, and optimistic. You got this crafty monkey because it reflects your own delightful optimism and playfulness. Or maybe you like bananas?

Gum- Gum is not just a snack, it's a tiny rectangular activity. It demands participation and rewards you with freshness, if only for a fleeting moment.

Game Piece- You are bright, optimistic, and careful when making a move — the very embodiment of Strategy. The world before you is as a game board, and you glide gracefully within it, taking and bringing joy.

Friendship Pin- The Friendship Pin — an unbreakable bond between you and your BFF. It shows you are loyal, willing to wear your love on your sleeve (or sneaker).

Chrome Rock - Howdy Chrome user! Glad you came by to check out our shiny new browser. Give Firefox 4 a shot; you’ll like life in the faster lane. Until then, here’s a nice chrome stone just for you.

Friendship Bracelet- Your buddies will be overjoyed to learn that you've drawn the Friendship Bracelet. It stands for sociability and your talent for making each friend, online and off, feel special. So very special.

Caranbiner- You have drawn the Mark of the Connection; Active, strong and reliable — that's you. People count on you to keep grounded at all times, even up in the air.

Buddha Statue- Infinite kindness and fortune, they smile upon you. You're searches lead you to answers, and you're feeling lucky.

Compass- You have drawn The Compass, for you know which way is up. Looking for adventure and whatever comes your way, you're as prepared as a scout and as bold as a pioneer.

Makeup- 'Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart' said the poet Kahlil Gibran. But he never had to deal with high definition video. You are The Illusionist — master of your own appearance, poet of the eyeliner pen.

Have a good weekend, all :)

Melbourne City

2011-09-17T03:10:00.000-07:00

p/s: Pictures look squashed here, simply because they are a little too big to fit into my blog layout.

I wasn’t sure what to expect. But to my surprise, Melbourne city resembled very much some of my memory snapshots of Portland, Or.- of its wet weather, coffee culture, yuppies community and modern arts. Though Melbourne City is definitely a more bustling cosmopolitan brimmed with people of all nationalities. I especially fascinated by its intricate and deliberate architectures, and I was constantly reminding myself to tilt my head up from now and then. Because some of the most charming sights could be just above my head!

From up above

2011-09-10T01:29:00.000-07:00

I enjoyed sitting by a window seat and watching the world below.

Hello Stranger

2011-08-31T08:50:00.000-07:00

...There I was, sitting on the other bench next to him.

There is something poetic about traveling alone. There is this rush of courage, sense of liberation and hint of foolish excitement all running in parallel. To me, this emotion is pretty much indescribable. It’s the very type emotion that you can read it up, but can’t never learn it or absorb it from someone else. Simply, you have to experience it to truly understand it.

During my 3 weeks holiday adventures in Down Under, I read about the evolution of an independent traveler. It was an interesting read, noting that travel taste changes as one gets older, richer, more tolerant, more adventurous or less adventurous, or everything in between. I guess it is true that traveling differs when you are in youth, young adulthood and middle age. I still remember my first days as an independent traveler. I was a fresh-face traveler in a foreign place, who wanted to see everything and go everywhere. No journey is too long or too comfortable, no dorm is too shabby or too small and I loved my life as a wanderer, constantly moving to a new destination as though spending more than an hour in one place is a waste. As a travel young adult, I am still no different than my well, teen years. Both my traveling feet and spirit are still going strong. Now I have learned to slow down my pace and savor every moment of it. Knowing that to see everything and go everywhere is impossible, and this gives me more reasons to come back again.I know this might sounds pretentious, but I feel the ‘real travel’ is when you speak to the locals, eat what the locals eat, and live how locals live. And I am glad to say I did pretty much what the locals did! I am not sure how my travel middle age would be like, though I am looking forward to find out. I sure hope that my passion to see the world hasn’t lessened!

❝ The woman who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The woman who walks alone is likely to find herself places no one has ever been before ❞- Albert Einstein

I am refreshed and re-inspired.

LEARN

2011-08-06T09:46:00.000-07:00

This reminds me why I do the things that I do. Simply because I learn best when I travel, with or without company.

Thank God for all things that made possible.

Till then we meet again.

2011-07-23T07:28:00.000-07:00

Bon & Greg

Another weekend signaling another week had just gone by- it seems almost so surreal that I actually spent the last week roaming around Malaysia with Bonnie and Greg. I wouldn’t have thought that day will come by so soon and till now, I still finding it a little too surreal, too perfect to digest.

I spent a week long together with Bon and Greg, travelling from KL to Penang, and then to Langkawi and back to KL.

We stayed in a neat hotel along Penang Road. Penang Road is such a gem, maintaining most of the vintage and dingy shops with paint peeling ceilings and wrinkled doors. As I write this, I am grinning wide at a particular incident whereby Greg dropped his slipper into a drain while we were walking along the Penang Street; a sewage drain or some sort. As he was bending down his body to pick it up, his glasses fell off from his shirt pocket and there it went down the drain! Thankfully he did manage to pick both his slipper and glasses up before they float to anywhere further. My first reaction was, OH NO, it is his first time in Malaysia! Well oh well, it was plain hilarious I tell you!

We also had some of the most amazing gluttony experiences with the famous Char Koay Teow and Cendol. The noodles used in Penang were so much springy than in KL. The prawns were so huge that you can feel the succulent crunch on every other bite! And a bowl of Cendol on a hot day was such a brilliant idea!

We then dropped by over my grandma’s place for a bit. I think I learned equally as much as Bonnie did, about my grandma, my family’s history and the different branches of my family tree. I felt rather ashamed for not knowing much, or being oblivious all this while. Now I can tell you my family is indeed an interesting bunch, with long lifespan heredity (above 100 years old) and being Christians for 7 generations now!

Meanwhile holiday over at Langkawi was all about beach getaway. We spent most days basking in the glorious sun and taking lazy naps on a sunlounger. One day we were out snorkeling beneath the clear water of Pulau Payah and the next day, we were back to the beach again soaking in the warm sunshine while sipping away Pina Colada!

Bon loves going to night market so much that we visited every single night market we possibly could! It is probably the best place to look for some real good deals and bargains. And also, the best place to snack on street food! As most of the time we were happily munching on the nicely roasted apam balik! She too had such a fond craving for nasi lemak that we finally found a place that serves nasi lemak with satay on a side, and washed down with a good old teh tarik. All her favourite food in one place! That was worth a celebration!

On the last day, we rented a car and drove around Langkawi coast. It was a timely decision because the weather was wet and rainy. Though we didn’t board on the cable car due to the weather, we did manage to tour around several landmarks and at last, we ended our trip with a spa treat! Oh so much joy!

Soon enough, we had to say our goodbyes.

I was wrong to think that this second time goodbye will go easier on us. But it wasn’t. It was no different than the first. It fact, it was harder. But I sure hope our goodbyes are short because I am looking forward to a lifetime memories with them.

Like meeting an old lover

2011-07-09T08:22:00.000-07:00

Picture was taken at Florida Airport| 2007

If I would have to pick a place where I teared up the most, airport would be it; while my bedroom comes close to second. Truth to be told, those are tears of joy and sadness that are twisted together in the most undefining manner. And so, I eventually develop a bittersweet feeling for airports. But one thing for sure, even as a kid and till at the present time, I still love seeing airplanes taking off. What seemingly as effortless and gracefulness is something that I marveled upon.

***

Luckily I managed to board into the bus just in time. There were plenty of vacant seats available and almost spontaneously, I plopped myself onto a window seat. Looking around, most people were minding on their own business so quietly that their conversation seemed inaudible. But I felt my heart was beating so fast that it was going to pop!

The journey to airport seemed to be little longer than usual. I stared blankly on my reflection at the window. But as I was looking passed through the window, strings of thoughts and flashbacks came flooding to my mind. With “I started a joke” by Bee Gees playing on the background, I was then dwelled into my little own world. Fragments of my American archives and distant memories fluttered in a cobwebbed corner of my mind. Moments like these were so real that they put a choke up in my throat and sheen of moisture on my eyes.

Again, I reminded myself not to tear. Not in the bus.

***

I tried to fight back my tears, but I failed miserably. As soon as Bonnie arrived at the terminal, I teared up. Almost immediately, I threw my arms around her and hugged her as tightly as I could! Tears were rolling down my cheeks. The more I tried to control, the harder it fell. For momentarily, her presence seemed almost so surreal!

I’m not quite sure how it feels like having to meet an old lover. But I guess it’s a whirlpool of emotions clashing all up together, and this pretty much sum it all up!

Beauty and the Beach

2011-06-19T01:10:00.000-07:00

June is going to be a long month, but I remind myself to hold on a little longer. Soon I will be soaking up the glorious sun, listening to crashing waves, caressing sandy grains, and doing my groovy dance. So amazing!

July Visitor

2011-06-10T09:56:00.000-07:00

I had rather a long week and so, am decided to take a breather on a Friday night. Stealing some time off from Thesis to catch up on my weekend reads, digging in some oldies and also, researching on a few vacation spots. So far, thesis has been rather bearable if you ask me but still there are loads of loose ends to tie. Just another two more weeks to go and I will be done with most of my assessments. Simply can’t wait! And also, just two more weeks to July before I will be seeing Bonnie and Greg! Am really excited to see them again after all these four years of letters, notes and parcels! If time permits, I definitely will make them a sign and garland when picking them up from airport, haha.

Meanwhile waiting for my exam schedule to be out, I’m just hoping that my paper doesn’t clashes with their holiday plan of sandy beaches and sunny weather. Yes, I need a getaway. And yes, I want to follow them, so badly.

By the way, did I tell you how cool they are?

They are cool like this.
I miss them.

Paper Doilies

2011-05-27T02:33:00.000-07:00

I never know how much I miss home until I walked through the familiar routine of picking up and reading the morning paper, engaged in long conversation with mom, stuffed myself full with home cooked food of 3 course meals (which the two are pork dishes) and a broth for dinner, or when my sis started complaining how messy the room is.

I was only away from home for slightly more than a week yet I feel the days are long. My, am I glad to be back home!

A new semester just started not too long ago. With only one subject and Thesis proposal at hand, my schedule is pretty flexible and has somewhat gives me plenty of breathing space. Of course I do foresee my last semester is going to be a busy one, but that’s not for me to worry now. With that in mind, I think my current state of life has achieved, well almost an equilibrium, a nice and wholesome balance of fast and slow, exciting and calm, exhilarating and laidback. Sandwiched in between study and play, occasionally I managed to indulge in some non-academic readings, experiment with some fuss-free projects or do things that I enjoyed doing, just the way I like it.

My most recent project was a birthday packet for bestie Ling in celebration of her 21^st birthday. The packet was filled with homemade goodies made out of felt, fabric paper, paper doilies which were carefully stitched and stringed together with thread and ribbon. Knowing the packet has reached safely at Adelaide after crossing the valley and ocean of a thousand mile was a sign of relief, phew!

She’s now growing up into such a fine young woman and I’m sad that I’m not there for her. But I know she’s doing well, and filling out those big shoes she was always meant to fill. I’m proud of her. I shed a few tears after reading her email. We were only classmates for two years, but we have been best friends for almost a decade now. Funnily we both don’t share many common songs together neither do we take many pictures, at least not pretty enough to be publicly displayed. But we are good with paper and pen. It might not be the most fashionable way, but cards and letters are the most personal and practical way.

I vaguely remember our first encounter. It saddened me, somewhat. Perhaps I was gravitated to the Sweet Valley High School book that she was holding. But I realize it doesn’t matter after all, or at all. It’s the journey of growing up together through different seasons of life that we discovered both of our beautiful and ugly sides of us. Yet we still remain real, honest and above all, we don’t judge. And after 10 years of friendship, that’s what matters, really, that's what matters.

This is for you, Ling.

“The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart” by Elisabeth Foley.

And one day, I will be your bridesmaid witnessing you walking down the aisle, and be the most amazing godmother for your kids :)

Happy Feet

2011-05-16T02:58:00.000-07:00

I took 33: 47 to finish 800 meters uphill run and 2,058 steps to reach to the top level of 288 meters above ground level of KL Tower. Not really a fantastic timing but it was a satisfied, accomplished run :) And also, all nice and sweaty!

Like flexing an old familiar muscle

2011-05-05T09:48:00.000-07:00

Hello May!

The two weeks break from academic and assignments are very much needed. Of this semester, the truth is I was feeling a little bit of...unfulfilled. It’s hard to explain and probably sounds trivial to someone else, but I guess I need to step outside and get some fresh air, to escape from the worn out places and familiar faces. Ahh yes, inspiration is the word. So I’m just hoping these holidays will do me some good by confining myself with some self-satisfying projects. Yet again, two weeks of holidays are not that long, really, and with my undergraduate Thesis coming along like a neon light blazing brightly right on my face is not that encouraging after all. Oh well, this is no pity fest so I would like to move on.

I have settled down at my new place just fine, in fact I love having the whole room all by myself :) Meanwhile I have a few appointments lining up for this month- dental visit, optometrist appointment and a hair cut! Perhaps I should add body checkup into my list too! I too have been working out of lately. Not very consistent and intense training but a good old one hour of running is pretty self-satisfying! Besides preparing myself for the upcoming KL Towerthon on this weekend, actually I’m loving the fact that I’m gradually taking better care of my body and health now. It sounds old coming out from me even as I'm writing this, but I'm actually really quite young :)

I foresee I will be picking up my momentum again. So I supposed it’s a good start! Wish me luck!

Sunscreen

2011-05-03T08:53:00.000-07:00

I vaguely remember this but of lately, my sis brought this up. "This is THE advice of a lifetime", she said. And I couldn't agree more.

Everyone is free to wear Sunscreen by Baz Luhrman

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '97,

Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis or reliable then my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice....now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, nevermind, you won't understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded, but trust me in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.

You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future, or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.

The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind: the kind that blindsides you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts; don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive; forget the insults. (if you succeed in doing this, tell me how).

Keep your old love letters; throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives; some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of Calcium. Be kind to your knees -- you'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40; maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.

Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself, either. Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body: use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or what other people think of it; it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance...even if you have no where to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions (even if you don't follow them).

Do not read beauty magazines; they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents; you never know when they'll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings: they're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but what a precious few should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps and geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.

Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old; and when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse, but you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you are 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia; dispensing it is a way of wishing the past from the disposal--wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts, and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen"

So sunscreen, anyone?

School of Hard Knocks

2011-04-16T00:35:00.000-07:00

Just the other day, I had a coffee conversation with an old friend of mine. It has been some time since we talked and as always, it felt good catching up on old times again. It was definitely a nice way to end my evening.

As we were reflecting upon our current state and exchanging stories of our own, only then we realize how much things have changed. Really, sometimes we are too caught up finding the right puzzle that we overlooked the big picture! For him, this year is a year of transition. He will be graduating soon, working on publishing his own journal, and soon will be interning at ESPN Singapore! I was so thrilled that I repeated ‘Dude, that’s so cool!’ for more than 10 times! After been through a rough week myself, at that point of time I was in need a dose of inspirations and happy news! Indeed, I was thrilled and still am!

For me, this year is a year of changes (Transition is too much of a big word I think). Lately, I have been much occupied with house moving. Things haven’t been working quite well with the house, plus the assignment rush and among the many other things- all things that can possibly go wrong actually went wrong, it was rather a havoc I would say! Looking back, I know I can do better or perhaps make things more bearable if only I don’t take things lightly. Again, maybe I am trying too hard to be perfect. Having to say all that, I am just glad this week is such a breather with things slowly taking shape. As much as I am excited about moving to a new place, I do miss my housemates. They are such lovelies and it is amazing to know how these 6 months can do to us! This may sounds corny, yet sometimes change is necessary especially when you know it’s a change for the betterment.

While as I'm busy settling in my new place, I’m too looking forward to usher in the second half of the year. It’s going to be an exciting one, to see how these changes are taking place!

Make it better

2011-03-26T23:09:00.000-07:00

I got acquainted with two new online databases, and I’m still getting a hang of it, but the nerd in me loves it! I had just done browsing through some journals, for both my thesis and upcoming assignment. And so I did feel a little accomplished today :) But I foresee more journals on its way. ~~Yay~~! Till now, I have yet to know how to go about with my thesis topic. Yikes! Variables within variables, topics within topic, and I can’t research on one without researching on the others! I even drew a diagram to link resistance, change and behavior modification together. Or how about throwing in another variable- sustainability perhaps? Though I don’t think it’s a good idea but that should makes them one big happy family! (No, I’m not trying to be funny here and sorry, the nerd in me is rambling). Oh well, there are so much to choose from, just like picking a right name for your kid.

***

Whoa! My silly self is spluttering out words, like a skyrocket. Still contemplating if I should press the delete button but I supposed it was too cute to be ignored! Hah. Well oh well, guess I should pick up right where I left off. And folks, here’s to a lovely Sunday!

Singing on a happier tune, I had gotten myself on a part time job! Working close to a month now, soon I will be getting my first pay cheque. It’s not the coolest job neither the easiest, but it pays decently. Decent enough to fund for my Aussie trip on this coming August! I know I have been talking about this for almost a year now, and I just can’t wait for August to come by soon! Exciting, simply exciting! The thought of how I stumbled upon this job was simply God’s amazing work. Those 2 months of searching and waiting was a test of my faith and patience. I wasn’t frustrated neither upset. Somewhat, I had a good feeling about it. True enough, the Almighty has blessed me more than what I asked for- the office is within walking distance from my university, flexible working hours, and its paid is double of the average part-time rate. I couldn’t ask for more. I believe there is always a time and season for everything to fall into its place. As always, His season and hour are always timely.

As reflected in many current calamities and catastrophes, there is always a time to be born and a time to die; a time to kill and a time to heal; a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to tear and a time to mend; a time to be silent and a time to speak; a time to love and a time to hate; a time for war and a time for peace.

Whatever season it is, it is a season to hold on tight of hope and faith. Perhaps I’m being a little over hopeful, but it’s always sunny and beautiful at the end of the road. The sun will squeezes its way through those thick intimidating clouds to cast a glow on the water.

We are going to make it better.

The nerd in me loves this too!

Moneybox

2011-03-12T08:32:00.001-08:00

God has been faithful, as always.

It is funny to see how things fall into places, sometimes.

❝ Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.
For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened
(Matthew 7:7-8)❞

These are the little life reminders that taught me to be humble, patience and ultimately, to have a little faith.

Praise God, my cup is overflow of God’s blessings and goodness :)

You have a friend in me

2011-02-26T00:52:00.000-08:00

For the many Saturdays, today is the one day I actually get to sleep in, and also sit in at home. Pleasantly slow and lazy I would say :)

Past Saturdays were spent on catching up with old friends, reconnecting the dots and filling in the gap. And it felt so good having to bring out that familiar and contented feeling again. Sometimes it’s too easy to take our own words for granted. How often we say, “we should catch up again”, “see you soon” and I do wonder when is again, and when is soon. And I’m guilty of that.

Time always seems to get into the way, doesn’t it? We rush from one thing to another, saying “I’m so busy.” It’s almost a badge of honor. And ridiculously people do feel guilty for staying idle. With world crisis in Egypt and Libyan, and disaster in Christchurch, it has shaken me up somewhat. Perhaps it's time to take a little effort to connect with real people.

Bestie Ling was back here for about 2 months, and now she is back to Adelaide. We only met up thrice, not much but the thought of going extra mile and squeezing our way through the daily chores and commitments really did mean a whole lot more to us. Sometimes she would drive up to KL adventurously and at other times, I would board a train down to Klang. It takes effort. Really, it does. And I’m glad that we did. And this is what it matters.

Knowing that I was in Klang, almost spontaneously my high school friends and I would stir something up! We are pretty much a spontaneous bunch. Together we explore the town of Pandamaran, neat place with lots of hidden gems. Sitting across each other, we all share our life snippets, travel stories, desires, and also, recalling the old times when writing a love letter is still a common habit...all these made us laughed our heads off! We had left school for about 5 years now. Our faces may have shown passage of time but deep down, we all still feel the same. To me, despite the 8 years of friendship, there is always something new to learn and discover of each other and this is what makes us going strong.

Recently, Ser and I had our very inaugural girl’s day out, just the two of us. We both didn’t realize it until we actually really though about it. How ironic we thought, after years of knowing each other. We had our favourite Ikea’s meatballs, playtime at Ikea’s showroom and an evening tea after rain, accompanied with jazzy tunes. Ikea is literally a playground for us! Our inner child went wild, by hopping from one place to another, and bouncing from one chair to another! Basically we were messing around like children with itchy hands!

If we really come to think of it, friends are found in a similar pattern. Friends coming together and growing apart, but with a little extra effort, friends are to ride the same wavelength and make memories together!

Love letter

2011-02-19T07:54:00.000-08:00

I simply adore love letter, literally and the melt-in-your-mouth flaky love letter!

And this week I’m filled with love. Bundles of love :)

Bunny Sprint

2011-02-03T22:49:00.000-08:00

I love Chinese New Year.

I love having good company, catching up with family affairs, reuniting with loved ones from far and near and messing around with two lovable nephews! Spending time with the two boys was a moment of madness- they are loud, witty and always brimmed with energy! It does feel great to be young and effortless, eh?

I love eating glorious food, and sadly this time around I have to give it a miss! I was down with fever and mild diarrhea just two days before the Big day, big boo-boo! Thankfully my fever had subsided just in time to usher the spring festival so I don’t miss out that much except for the food, which can quite a torturous sight when everyone else is happily savoring! I miss opening the cookie jar and savoring all the festive goodies and candies :| Though I no more purging, still the tummy remains a little unsettling. I am pretty much careful with what I consume, and occasional burping helps to soothe the groggy and gassy feelings. Hah! But hey, good thing that Chinese New Year is a 15-days celebration! So I have a week or so to catch up with all the glorious food!

Hope the year of Rabbit brings you and your loved ones much joy and prosperous! Hop hop and awayyyy! Meanwhile I shall be happily burping!

I am a big, big girl

2011-01-28T09:21:00.000-08:00

One day of last year, I celebrated my 21^stbirthday and one day of last week, I just celebrated my 22^nd. Some times I can never be quite sure if I am ready to grow up, and some days I am just reluctant to grow up but now...I am ready. Or at least, I think I am ready :) I am ready to finish writing up the last few pages of this chapter, and like with all the other new chapters of my life, soon enough I will be flipping into the many unwritten journey and unfamiliar adventures.

Time is evil, you know. Ha!

My birthday celebration was great, beyond great! The bums threw me a lovely surprise party. Both Ling and I had our Friday night out at town. A Saturday dinner with my two close friends and also, to spend a lazy weekends with the family, which is one of my favourite things to do! To me, birthday is about celebrating life. And I am glad to know the life that I am living in is filled with blessings, lots of blessings. Knowing the friendships that I shared with the many special people is honest and nourishing, and having to celebrate my life with them is already the best gift! It is beautiful. It is heartwarming.

So far, 2011 has been very kind to me. Meanwhile, I am thinking to pick up a new skill or take up a new hobby like swimming and cycling or perhaps I should put my sign language skills to good use, or better still, drive around town more often! I do hope the coming months of 2011 will be an exciting one, with brighter days and bigger dreams!

I believe everyone is pretty much in Chinese New Year mood. Surely, I am looking forward to it, for the food, for the loved ones and a big big Yay for the red packets! Looks like I am still keeping that child in me :)

Pinprick of Time

2011-01-04T07:19:00.000-08:00

261207. This marks the three years of my blogging ‘career’ :)

“In a Capsule” was created with the sole intention of recording my American’s tale, as my 17 old self was afraid of losing her memories. Eventually blogging became natural, and the rest was history. “In a Capsule” represents time. Time, is something that I have always find it fascinating and interesting. But also, disheartening. Time is so powerful, so potent that it can change the many landscapes, faces and things. Sadly, the world is moving so fast that people don’t have time to make love and whisper. Call me old fashioned, but it scares me sometimes, to witness how the world is transforming or rather, how fast the world is evolving. I was reading the paper the other day, saying natural disasters- heat waves, volcano eruptions, flood, earth quake have killed more people than the last decade. Sometimes I distaste the new age modernization, yet sometimes I thank God for the brilliant revolutions. For better or for worst, I’m ambitious enough to find the delicate balance.

2010. The year I turned 21. The year I moved to a new crib. The year I involved with volunteering. The year I had a tantalizing glimpse of entrepreneurship. The year I tasted macaroons. And also, the year I blogged about nature more than anything else! It was a year of learning the ropes of being an adult, with a fair share of highs and lows, roses wouldn’t be beautiful without the thorns and I would say it was a good year nevertheless.

2011. I spent my first night staring at a night sky and sleeping under the stars.

If 2010 is a year of learning, I sure hope 2011 is a year of growing. Be it personal, work or spirituality. I need to reexamine myself- Am I running for God? Admittedly, most often I run for myself. And I am hoping this coming year will bring me a greater intimacy with God. I always believe that I am blessed so that I can be a blessing for others.

Still in some ways, I am no different from my 17 old self. I am still curious about life. I am still celebrating life and whatever that comes with it. And I hope you are as much curious and excited about life as I am. Celebrate the mistakes, the opportunities, and even the nuts and bolts of everyday life.

On a last note, a big heartfelt thank you for those who have been growing up together with me since 261207 and also, thank you for some who met me at a half way. I hope you have not greater, but more meaningful things in life to celebrate. And also, take time to make love and whisper!

Sweet oh Sweet!

2010-12-27T23:39:00.000-08:00

Last year Christmas was quiet and cozy, while this year was otherwise, with lots of merry-making, and lots of eating I might add. This is what we always do when we gathered and are happy, don’t we?

I spent my Christmas Eve being Santa’s little elves, helping to wrap tons and tons of presents to be given away to pediatrics ward of UMMC hospital. Having to spend 5 hours of wrapping presents, I think I am already a pro and qualified to work as a professional gift wrapper at Memory Lane! The amount of presents was overwhelming, but it was scary...scary to know the number of children lying on a sick bed at a hospital. But I am glad, glad to know that these little ones are not forgotten and much thanks to Roddy and his team for having this special project. The sight of having a group of strangers come together, volunteering our time and energy by working alongside each other was heartwarming. These are the little things, little reminders to keep us humble and grateful at all time.

Christmas day was rather a busy one. I spent the whole afternoon in the kitchen, baking Almond Fudge Cheesecake for Pa’s birthday. It turned pretty well, not too sweet but perhaps a little too nutty for both of Pa and Ma. After washing and cleaning up, I then rushed off to Jeremy & Pamela’s wedding dinner. Having to attend my very first friend’s wedding, reuniting with bestfriend and meeting a couple of old folks made me so excited, that my heart swelled! It was such a joy to see some of the old faces, and also, reconnecting the dots once again. Had a sleepover with Ling and girlfriends on a Christmas night, snuggled up with pillows and wrapped around with comforter, with lots of girl talks and crazy laughter lasting through the midnight! Classic, just classic.

Sunday was Boxing Day. After church service, Ling and I had our slow afternoon over bak kut teh and a pot of Chinese tea! It was blissful, wonderful and simply timeless! The day ended with an intimate birthday dinner celebration with Pa and alongside with a quiet evening with the family.

This Christmas, I felt both an ancient and a newborn at the same time. I still have the warm and fuzzy excitement of being a child, but also, feel oddly contented to have break away from the usual routine, old places and worn out faces. I think this is how holidays are supposed to be- reconnecting the dots, dots that once crossed path with us, but most often we take them for granted and so, easily forgotten.

Meanwhile, I want to thank God for His blessings. Christmas is a celebration with family and loved ones, but above all, it is a celebration of His birth. Everyone is special, and God makes us special in His own way and also, to love us the way we are. I felt very much loved, blessed by God’s blessings for placing some of most beautiful people in my life.

My Coffee Affair

2010-12-23T07:20:00.000-08:00

The annual prom went alright. The food wasn’t splendid but fair enough. The performances were pretty okay, some were mundane, some were fine and some were pleasant. For me, the exciting part was to see everyone dressing to the nines, all looking pretty and beautiful. Happy faces with smiles and good words, for momentarily I thought it was some sort of a graduation party! And having a reason to play dress up and feeling all girly for a night was an icing on a cake too!

What made it a fun-filled and memorable night were the companions, and having accompanied by, not all but most of my closest uni mates and girlfriends was a quite a celebration. They remind me of how far I have come, and how much I have grown as a person. Like some, I have known them since my early college days. And look at us now, very soon we all will be university graduates!

The night ended well, with yours truly dancing away, making silly faces and taking endless snapshots!

I’m excited for tomorrow Christmas Eve as this year, I'm doing something slightly different, slightly more meaningful. A little more of that later on, and what about you?

I hope you and your loved ones have a blessed and joyful Christmas, in wherever part of the world you are. Happy merry-making!

All shinny and glittery

2010-12-18T08:07:00.000-08:00

That was the theme for Sunday school’s Christmas Party.

I spent half of my Saturday afternoon over at church, helping around and taking charge of party games. It was not exactly an easy task though, you know kids these days are so smart and loud. Surely demand of my intellectuality and creativity, hah! But I was glad that the kids were cheering, I was laughing and everything in between went well, with the help of my sis. Some of the kids were dressed in their best, with their shimmering and shinny attire. Jamie who is in her pre-school age, donned in a puffy sleeves, red Minnie Mouse dress with white polka dots, and a headband with Minnie Mouse’s ear popping up. Oh so adorable! It makes me want to be a kid again, with balloons, party bags and glorious food!

Well being a grown-up is not too bad either, we too can play with colours and be all dressed up! In just two days, I will be attending my first uni prom! I have never been much a prom person myself, and so far I had only attended two proms- one was in my sweet sixteen and the other one when I was studying in an American school. One thing about prom is that it costs money, it can cost less, quite a bit or a lot, but still it costs money. So this time around and with festive season coming along, I learn to be more money-savvy, trying to spend as less as possible. And lucky me, I have already gotten my dress. Specifically, I “recycle” my dress- a little black dress that can never go out of fashion, which is faithfully hanging at the back of my wardrobe and above all, no one has seen me in that dress before (at least not the uni mates). See, just the perfect dress for the occasion! I think it’s very important for all girls to own at least one black dress, it is a safe colour yet evergreen, and you can always pepper it up with bold and bright accessories!

The tricky part, for me at least, is always the make-up and hairdo. This one, I admit, I need to splurge a little more. This time, I am adventurous with the colours and ambitious with the hair. I want to go for a dark and gothic makeup, complimenting with an edgy and androgynous hairdo. Given I have a short, short hair now, I am contemplating either a wet look or perhaps Kiera Knightley short hair look! Hmm...I shall see how then.

Meanwhile, the Christmas carols are making my heart all warm and fuzzy as I was typing this :) I hope you all have a jolly week ahead!

Heart of Giving

2010-12-12T08:54:00.000-08:00

There are just so many to see, to choose and to pick! I never quite know what to get for both Bonnie and Greg this time. Erm, tricky tricky. I want to get them something personal, something authentic and nothing too cliché. Meanwhile for the boys, I got them books and toy cars. It’s never easy to catch up with the kids these days. Oh well, just hope they don’t grow up too fast. And I have to tell myself to be more creative next year. For Rose, I guess I am a little more selective when comes buying her gifts. So I got her a handmade-doll from flea market and Winnie the Pooh party decors. Sugar and spice, and everything nice for the only girl! By now, the Kotts have got used to my fashionably late Christmas presents, but it’s always has been the gesture of giving, gratitude and above all, love that hold the significance :)

Just the other day, I received an email from Annexe Gallery with the mission of helping Roddy Teo to collect toys for a visit to pediatrics ward of UMMC hospital this Christmas, to be placed on the kids' beds before they awake. Sounds like an operation toy story! And just too sweet to be ignored that I have to blog about it.

This is the exciting part. You don’t have to purchase new toys. Well if you want, you can of course! You can donate away toys, books or stationary sets that are still in pretty much good shape and clean, you know those that are cluttered in your attics, those that are stashed away in your boxes. Or even those sitting at the foot of your bed and could be more glad to make other kids happy.

I’m actually digging in some of my cabinets to see if there are any toys, mainly books that I tend to hoard over the years that could be a good Christmas giveaway! No kids want to spend Christmas in the hospital, really. And knowing some are really sick, perhaps, just perhaps this may be the last year for them. I really do hope initiative like this will give the kids at the very least, a glint of hope and meaning, a glimpse of imaginations and dreams of Christmas, which hopefully can linger a little longer.

So if you are wanting to sprinkle some festive joy, do drop by Annexe Gallery and look out for a box that says "Operation Toy Story", before Sunday 19 Dec.

And here I wish everyone a blessed (early) Christmas!

❝ the world gives you things to enjoy life, but god gives you life to enjoy things. ❞
- Ps. Clement

Colour me

2010-12-06T06:02:00.000-08:00

Today I have my application form posted. Finally. The little details were tedious enough to test my patience- no stapler allowed, no A4 size paper allowed, no this and no that. At some point, I’m not sure if I wanted to apply anymore. It supposed to be done discreetly in front of my parents but my mom was smarter than I thought. She was more of doubtful and concerned rather than upset over my choice but at the end of the day, she was the one who made sure the envelope is well sealed, stamped and got posted :) I genuinely told my mom, “I don't know how much chance I stand but at least I give it a try!” And she replied after much rambling, “You’re lucky to have things in your own way.” Lucky I am, perhaps. But I know, I know if I do allow this opportunity to slip off because of a silly reason or two, I will never be at peace with myself. Having a chance to have my foot set on the states again, for the second time give me a sense of this possibility, a possibility for better things to come. I know the grass isn’t always greener on the other side, perhaps it can never be, but I wanted a good change. I guess you can say I’m hopeful for better things. Seeing the little pockets of the world through my own eyes feeds my passion. And I found these changes to be impossible in Malaysia. If I’m that lucky, like my mom said, I will only be leaving my home country momentarily, for an opportunity, a change and a dream. Lucky or no lucky, at least I tried.

On a lighter note, I’m excitedly distracted with Christmas holidays, one of my favourite seasons of all time! Though shopping for presents can be somewhat stress, hah. At the moment there are too many, just too many plans are unfolding, with loved ones coming over and having bestie back to town! With prom, church party, wedding, and the many sweet celebrations, it gives me more reason to be merry and jolly...all sparkling and twinkling too AND not wanting to study!

Meanwhile, I received a box containing with assorted toffee. Oh my love! I think toffee goes well with study, don’t you think? Well, minus the glucose intoxication of course. Mhm mhm, this spells Christmas!

I see a rainbow today...

2010-11-20T09:10:00.000-08:00

and it’s beautiful. Erm, I wonder when was the last time I see such a beautiful thing...

Past week had been really, really crazy. I guess university wouldn’t be any complete without sleepless night and meeting datelines. Matters made worst when technology had failed on me several times, miserably and terribly. I was utterly upset and helpless when my file got corrupted on a day before the submission dateline! On such a very bad timing! Guess my expression was so plainly visible that a girl came forward and gave me a candy. And there I met a new friend! (Well...it did some sort cheer me up a little.) But I know I'm blessed, blessed enough to have supportive teammates, for staying up late night without having to grumble a word. And I thank God for everything that happened, for everything that made possible and for everything that is all done and over with.

I’m not sure if I truly enjoy this semester. I know it’s definitely not one of my favourite semesters. I miss doing things that I enjoy doing, and things that I wanting to do. I enjoy most when I’m out there, meeting random strangers, exploring new places and everything in between, that comes with little adventures and big surprises. And so, I’m looking forward for next week, with coffee and cakes and reconnecting with old friends. Next month will be a merry one with more reasons to celebrate! And next year will be one uncertainly interesting year. I’m also starting to give some thoughts on my upcoming Australia trip. Feeling a wee bit of excitement though it’s 10 months in advance!

Now I can’t wait for this term to be over. So that I can make trips to downtown and art gallery, bask on the beach, indulge in the fictional world and see the world pass by. Simply, I encourage you and myself too- to go and do things that you don’t normally do. And, do the things that you used to love to do- but don’t have the time for it.

Have a lovely weekend, with a cherry on top :)

Wild Days

2010-11-12T21:08:00.000-08:00

My energy booster for the day- cheerios with home made soy milk! Past weeks have been a wild, wild one! One paper after another, deadlines after deadlines, it surely brings a dense amount of stress. Can’t wait till next Friday, when all assignments are done and over with, and this semester has closely come to an end.

In times of these, my mind drifted to happier things like the thought of Christmas, the smell of coffee and baked cookies, the hours of caressing book spines and among the many other things! Lovely, just lovely.

Now I can’t help but wiggling my toes in delights :)

Raindrops on my head

2010-10-31T07:57:00.000-07:00

Image by Fern

There is something of this picture that I like about. Not the purple feather hair clip. Not the Tiger beer. I know, it’s my serene crooked smile.

Running Rhino

2010-10-23T08:37:00.000-07:00

I try to drink lots of water, feed myself with healthy and balanced diet, continue poo-ing, walk a little more...but it can never seem to be enough. Worst still, I have not been working out for 2 months now. Recently I have been eating a little more than usual, have very lethal and sinful cravings like chocolate and ice cream, sometimes very peculiar ones like soya milk! I seem to dine and be merry for 365 days! For one second, I wonder if I am pregnant. Urgh, feeling so unfit and unhealthy :|

While shopping for grocery, I bought Arnott’s teddy chocolate chips cookies! One of my loves. Now, now...so much of being healthy huh? Oh well, admittedly I love food and food loves me. Meanwhile, I shall continue to drink more water, eat more healthily, continue poo-ing and hopefully, get on my running shoes soon!

Random fact: I love biting off the teddy’s head first, what about you?

Beautiful Mess

2010-10-16T08:36:00.000-07:00

After a long, arduous week of too much work and too little sleep, I am so relieved that weekends are finally here. Today is probably one of my most unproductive days, with glorious 12 hours of sleep! Woke up feeling uplifted and recharged, guess I couldn’t be any happier :)

I can foresee more sleepless nights to come, as slowly workload is getting heavier and somewhat seems like an era of warfare. Finally I had decided on sociology, the much waited and anticipated elective. But I am glad for my patience. Sociology has always piqued my interest in many ways and so I made up my mind to wait (waited for almost a year!). No wonder people say beautiful things have to wait upon. Of course there is a risk, the risk of getting a depressing lecturer, the risk of having a miserable course structure. Guess I am lucky. Throughout my almost 3 years in uni, this tops of all the classes I have attended, so far. He is sarcastically funny, and stimulatingly smart. You can never go wrong with humor and intelligence, a very nice combo. He urged us to smell the dandelion and catch the butterflies. He taught us to be rebellious students. He detested boring people. He might not be always right but this is how exactly I like it to be. Bold. Contemporary.

Yet again, it is one hell of taxing subject with loads of reading and understanding. But with every page flipped, a new perspective gained. It is beautifully interesting and abstract, sandwich in between of psychology. Definitely demands more of my attention and effort.

Beautiful things definitely worth the wait, but it never come easy either.

Everything old is new again

2010-10-08T09:40:00.000-07:00

It‘s has been a long, draining week. Glad it’s Friday :)

It feels so good, and so right to be back home again. The feeling of walking through the door and say “AHhhhh..”

Newspaper, chocolate, crackers and ice cream! The best kind, really!

Good things happen on rainy day

2010-09-25T03:15:00.000-07:00

Weather lately has been pretty much rainy, sticky, wet and moist. Perfect lazy days with blanket and hot chocolate, or even a slow afternoon nap, don’t you think?

Yesterday while was waiting for the bus, besides people watching, folding origami from 1 dollar note, I actually tilted my head and looked up at the sky. It was drizzling. Rain drops were so delicate and fine that almost invisible, and were lightly hitting on my forehead. But there was a peekaboo in the sky, with enough sun to make the sky glint. AND I was so tempted to dance in the rain!

This very much describes me :)

Life is good as a third year student. Assignments are piling up, quaintly I or rather people are becoming more relax. Meanwhile, I have segued into my everyday things, my everyday life. I do get a breath of fresh air from time to time, simple things like midweek catch up with friends, weekends with family and the occasionally meeting random people.

This coming week, I guess it will be a long one with assignments and more assignments. But I’m glad there is always something for me to look forward to!

Ohh, tomorrow I’m meeting with my new housemates!

Paper lanterns

2010-09-18T10:01:00.000-07:00

So far, my September has been amazingly occupied. I had a long week and was pretty much caught up with many endless chores and just everyday things. And very soon, I will be moving into a new crib, and there goes the packing and unpacking. Just about a year and a half ago, I was rather doubtful over my own judgment but look at me now, I’m already missing that old place of mine! It somewhat feels like I just moved in yesterday! Amusingly, how fast time flies! In all honesty, compromising with my new found freedom was a tricky one, interlaced with my rebellious and irresponsible. But in the end, I turn out just fine :) Certain kinds of challenges are needed at different stages of life to make me stronger bit by bit and grow little by little, which I did.

Finally my baby project- Project 1609 had came to an end. Started off rough but glad it ended with a good one. It was small but intimate and personal in its own way. It's often a cycle where I find myself going through the same little sequences of stress, anxious and then triumphant moments. Between stubbornness and fighter, there is a very fine line. I don't deny my occasional whine-spree but I would love to see what comes after that and everything that comes with it. Like I always say, at least I try hard enough. I’m still exploring, experimenting something beyond what I’m doing now and Neil is right, I need to start thinking like a business person. Guess I’m still figuring the other dimensions of life.

This coming week is the Lantern festival! If you know me well, at least well enough, you would probably know how much I love pastries. Oh yes, mooncakes are not an exception here. I have an old soul and so, I fancy traditional mooncakes and paper lanterns at all time, anytime! Battery-operated ones are just...erm, uncool. This year Lantern festival, I’m looking forward to savoring in the effortless and unpretentious moments of being a kid again running around with my paper lantern of course!

I dream a beautiful picture

2010-09-10T09:26:00.000-07:00

I’m a little tired. But am grateful, grateful on how the picture turns out to be. Not exactly a picture perfect, but almost there. You can never be sure if it’s a beautiful picture until it stops unfolding, can you? The unknown, the don’t-knows, my friend, can be beautiful.

Here in Bolehland

2010-08-31T01:35:00.000-07:00

We have to be lived in a forward motion but certain things can only be understood by looking back.

3 years back, 36 months ago, in 2007, here's a piece of my love for Malaysia.

Happy 53rd birthday, Bolehland!

Shower me with colours

2010-08-30T09:50:00.000-07:00

Just got my stationery shopping done over the weekends. And the thought of going back to school again is such a kiddy fun! I always love going for stationery shopping, apart from grocery shopping. School stationery is practical, but I just have a thing for fancy schmancy stationery with vintage kitsch patterns and lovely colours!

Holidays had been good and hopefully this last quarter of 2010 will be a good one too. Over the holidays, I did some stitching and sewing on both my skirt and baby doll top. Pretty good job for a first timer, I would say! My flare A-line denim skirt has now transformed to a mini skirt, meanwhile my blue baby doll top is nicely flow down to the waist :) Recently I’m in rage of searching for fabric tapes! So that the stubborn stains on my pendrive can be neatly covered up! Thanks to this great tutorial by Annekata, I will just settle for a DIY fabric tape!

Ohh, did I mention that finally I have finished watching House up to season 5! Now I think I feel a little empty without having to watch House weekly! What got me glue to the TV in single episode is the awesome quotes, great lines, brilliant characters, new medical facts, sarcastic humor and of course the great man himself, House with his unconventional thinking and (almost) flawless instincts!

Also, I did mount hiking to Mt Tabur with the girls! The hike took us approximately 4 hours, with much of rock climbing and abseiling, and also cuts and bruises! Upon reaching at the peak, I looked down to the bottom, match box sized buildings could be spotted, though some parts of it were densely covered by lush greens. From the top, I bowled the panorama view in awe, with fog slowly lifted up, sky crackled up to dawn, dam so still and silent....it was sweet, just sweet!

Cheers to a great final quarter, folks :)

Chasing after sunshine

2010-08-25T08:01:00.000-07:00

As vain as I sound, I feel so afresh with my new bouncy hair cut with straight bangs, and my freshly painted red nails. Though I would prefer my pixie haircut anytime, sometimes a change is good. A little fluffy on the front but no complains. And the good thing about hair is it will eventually grow back!

Soon, very soon I will be ushering in the new semester, embracing the thrill of being a final year student. Hah! The truth is, I running all nervous and excited simultaneously! Bits of me are anticipating the forthcoming plans, while pieces of me are just anxious not knowing what to expect! Ultimately, I guess all the bits and pieces will fit into a puzzle, with the right time and right place.

One thing that I really, really anticipating for the year 2011 is my graduation trip to Melbourne! It has been much spoken of, and definitely something I have been hoping to do, not for anyone else but myself. I have never thought it would come so soon. Not knowing if it is a good or a bad thing, this trip is actually like a sugar bomb for me. But hey...I have already booked the flight ticket! The funny thing is I booked a one way ticket! What am I thinking?! Hahaha. Please don’t ask me where will I be heading, when will I be back, or how will I be traveling because I’m just as clueless as you are! There, maybe. Here, maybe. Oh maybe no. Maybe yes. Oh I don’t know! Let’s just say for now, it is still a raw and uncooked plan :) All I know is surely Melbourne and Adelaide are in my list. So I shall see!

Strangely enough, I do enjoy the spontaneity, the adventures, the unexpected, and the unexplored.

Eyes of my heart

2010-08-15T09:33:00.000-07:00

I have so much to write, but never quite sure where to start. Funny isn’t it? There are just too many tales, just too many.

For the past 2 weeks, I was utterly tired and drained. Admittedly, I have never worked this hard before. Now I’m simply beyond pleased that the Challenge has ended, and strangely enough, the grand prize doesn’t seem as significant as before. We could have pump in loads of money, just like what the other leading team was doing. Oh, the reality of money! Again at the end of the day, F&N will only be the biggest winner, and none of us. We are not the champions, and we definitely are not the smartest business persons around. But, we played fair and well :)

Beneath the layers and layers of sweat and blood, I’m thankful to cross the path of many kind hearts, many wonderful conversations, many new faces, and the many novelty experiences. Perpetually God has been faithful, and His words have been such a great comfort and ease upon my soul. And there, are my tears of gratefulness.

***

Not too long ago, I had a 30 minutes skype talk with Bonnie. In between pauses, there are lost of words, awkward and silent seconds. But I’m glad we take the time to fill in the gaps, knowing that the shine between the Kotts and I can never be taken away. The little things like pictures and notes on my wall are traces of their presence, reminding me of their much love and acceptance, after all these 3 and half years. And there, are my tears of contentment.

***

And recently, my friend has passed away. He has a history of epilepsy and apparently, he died in his sleep. Exactly in this month on last year, we were happily catching up with old times, without expecting anything much. And early this year, he called and went on telling me, how great a friend I am to him. The last time we talked, he wasn't really a happy kid. And I thought of calling him up again, meeting him sometime on next month, on his birthday, when our friend Steven is back from

. But now it doesn't matter anymore, not to him while for me, it’s just...you know, heart breaking having to read his obituary in the papers. And there, are my tears of grief.

I’m fine.

But for today, just for today, I want to lay my tummy on the floor, read a book in a corner and yearn for the much needed rest and silence.

Milkmaid

2010-08-07T04:22:00.000-07:00

That's me :) And I want that little cute costumes!

We are perfect but in a wrong situation

2010-07-27T00:54:00.000-07:00

He came to my mind when the car broke down

And I met him again

but this time, in a bus

We both were late,

as if it was nicely planned out.

A picture of him was faithfully kept

in my album, for 5 rusty years.

The funny thing is,

I don’t remember how it came about.

We were strangers back then.

You should take back the photo, you know...

it belongs to you.

There are boundaries where I can never, and will never cross.

Some other time, perhaps.

Farmer’s hat on a Saturday morning

2010-07-26T08:04:00.000-07:00

Oh, it has been rather a crazy week for me! In between of preparing for my Farmhouse Apprentice challenge, I spent most of the days in taking pleasure of my personal jaunts with books, House, tread and stitches :) And just yesterday, Fern and I went for an orphanage visiting and brought not one, but two kids for shopping! Two kids yet we were somewhat drained!

***

As promised, I will give you some fractions of Project Angkat Rumah. It is a belated posting, but I enjoy doing that sometimes. It sort of gives me an excuse to relish that moment in time, both deeply and vaguely remembered. Think about it, 12 months ago I wouldn’t be doing this and 12 months later, I probably won’t have the chance to do it again!

Donning in my tights, baggy tee, pink shades and oh, how could I forget...the good old fashion farmer’s hat! Sun above head, and I was sweating every single fluid out of my body! It was all nice and sticky :)

The whole project is metaphorically, a task of crossing the mountain, the valley and the ocean! The parade started off with drums and trumpets, colourful props and soon enough toil and sweat seeped in. The height of the house was a little too high to cross under a pedestrian bridge so left us no choice but to take a sharp turning into a narrow alley! We even had to move a school bus because it was blocking our way! Oh yes, lots of superhero actions going around!

Upon reaching KLpac entrance, an excavator was readily waiting to lift the house across the guard house. Meanwhile, we took a short break to gulp in the much needed fresh air. Along the way, its roof got tangled up with telephone cables and tree branches for almost countless time! Despite all that, the house still remained in a happy shape.

I’m not sure if the house was designed that way for a reason, with the certain height and width. Intentionally or unintentionally, the little actions and dramas definitely peppered up the whole parade! Or else, it would be just another boring and dull affair.

Sounds of cheering and familiar Rasa Sayang echoing within ears, sight of having hundreds and hundreds of people carrying a giant house- and that was a picture of muhibbah-ness. The Malaysia that I love.

This was a crazy photo of me. I looked like some sort of feminist advocate. Haha. One day when I’m old and wrinkled, I hope to rediscover this moment of time for the second time!

Image credits- Hafiz Chan ; Khalilmakata

Hear me roar

2010-07-17T08:22:00.000-07:00

It’s the time of the year again-holidays! Yay!

For this term break, I’m keeping things simple. Nothing too ambitious but definitely keeping myself well occupied with lots of mini projects and social events, little soul-searching and fabric play! Yeap, there are few pieces of clothing that need alteration so I thought it would nice to play with some threads and needle :) And ohhh, my unfinished tutu project too!

Childhood friend, Jeanne is back from Bristol so am anticipating the day when we get to catch up over a crème Brulee! The girls and I found this little neat diner over at Damansara Jaya, tucked at a quiet corner surround Atria Shopping Centre. Vary Pasta is the name. Budget-friendly food with very homely feel, and I dare to say it is the best crème brulee in town so far! For sure I’m bringing Jeanne there and to warm our tummies with crème brulee :)

I kicked started my one and half month holidays with much laughter and good company. I met up with my wonderful girlfriends over for lunch on a Friday noon and it felt so good again to chat about anything and everything, big things and small things.

Also, had my first kite-flying experience which was insanely hilarious and silly, and as always, it was pleasant to catch some sun, wind and maybe some rain. More on that, soon.

So far, my holidays have been looking deliciously good. Hope you have a delicious week ahead for yourself too!

Got bitten by the holiday bug

2010-07-09T00:27:00.000-07:00

This week is very much occupied with family affairs, one after the other. Cousin’s bridal shower is tonight then followed by a wedding dinner on Saturday. Aunt is backed from Brooklyn for good after spending 20 odd years in Big Apple. And grandma just came down to KL several days ago, she had headed off to

Singapore

but will be back soon in celebration of her 94^th Birthday!! Busy busy busy.

Very soon, Worldcup is coming to a closing. By right, on paper,

Brazil

and

Argentina

will have no qualms marching through their respective quarter finals. By twist of fate, they were outplayed by their opponents. Sigh. Both Holland and

Germany

were terrific. The young Germans were very tactical at field, brimmed with robust energy and played with much fast and precise pace. And,

Spain

attacked and marked very heavily on Germans who played on the left-wing. The finals-

Spain

vs Holland :)

Meanwhile, I’m still chasing and watching HOUSE series. Finally at season 5 now. I actually borrowed those DVD since last December! Well, I don’t watch them religiously everyday, only catching a few episodes over the weekends. House being house, and I don’t seem to get enough of him still!

It appears that this week I have much time to spare, yet little time to study. I already got bitten by the holiday bug!

It was a lazy Friday afternoon

2010-07-02T09:14:00.000-07:00

I truly enjoyed the morning breeze today. Lightly caresses my cheeks and tousles my hair. You know, just feeling in ‘the moment’. Yes, I simply love talking about the weather. And today was just blissfully pleasant, the perfect day for doing nothing at all. It was a lazy Friday afternoon.

Guess when I have some extra time to spare, I tend to wander around, get distracted and end up with little discoveries. (and I blog more often too!)

I have always been easily fascinated over short films, sometimes I spent a huge load of time digging them like in here. I heart short films in many ways. I love how they can be so short and sweet. I love how their characters are beautifully shaped, and I love how their plot is playfully twisted. At times, the whole production is novelty raw. Not too raw, but a little quirkiness is necessary.

Leave Me, is my favorite so far.

And INSiDE depicts about multiple personality disorders, which I think the ending was smartly played.

“Through the Yellow Door” was produced by students of film class 101. Great effort I would say! The story was nothing new but if they don’t handle with care, the plot can be corny.

But I’m glad that their plot was nicely done :)

***

a side note here: Brazil supposed to win! BIG BOO. It's time to root for the underdogs!

A little gratitude

2010-06-30T03:30:00.000-07:00

Currently I am marinating in the usual library to complete my remaining literature review.

I’m almost done :) (This is a late posting, in fact I'm done and over it now) Yay!

And there goes my very last assignment of my second year. So tonight I’m exploring a new diner with fern and the girls. Sort of a mini fetes for us, we are nearing the end of our semester and soon-to-be third year already!

At the mean time, I’m feeling a little gratitude.

Distorted

2010-06-27T03:41:00.000-07:00

Momentarily, I had forgotten how sore my arms were, and how aching my shoulders were. Sometimes, just sometimes I don’t remember how to lift up my arms. Gah, feel like an old lady.

Project Angkat Rumah had marked a milestone in Boleh Land, in a significantly small way perhaps, but it taught us so much of faith, endurance than any Malaysia History textbooks would have. Ultimately it gave us a story, a tale to share and to tell with much pride and dignity. I will save this story for another time, but soon enough. Right now, take pleasure of this picture :)

Image by Azami Hashim

***

I would love to think I can blog just about anything I want. Again in this virtual space, nothing is really off the record. And there are certain things I would like to express subtlety.

I should have known better how certain words could be distorted, could be misconstrued. I’m not angry. I might be a little irritated but nothing too much, because there is nothing too big. And, small frustrations are not worth holding back.

I’m learning how to hold back from saying unnecessarily.

Moving house, literally

2010-06-19T09:36:00.000-07:00

Go away annoying Chinese spammers, urgh!

My Saturday night plan was to get my assignment done but ended up here and got distracted by this...

Counting down 14 more days and Urbanscape -an annual user-generated all day creative art festival (wow, that’s a mouthful) is hitting down to KLpac! Yay :) Guess this is one of those rare local artspheres where Malaysians actually pay to go! This year Urbanscape program lineup is looking rather less as compared to last year. But so far, Urbanscape has yet disappoints me.

I and the boys (Roy and Fong) went pretty excited over this whole Project Angkat Rumah on this coming weekends! It was literally moving a house, yes, a specially designed wooden house with zinc roof and bright colours! This novelty concept is initiated by our very local filmmaker, Liew Siew Tat from DaHuangPictures who wants to revive the local village spirit of gotong royong in us the urbanites.

The whole procession is very much simple and straightforward. Member of public are invited to join them to either assist in carrying the house, or join in the festivities by walking along and cheerleading. The distance is only about 1.3km, from Jalan Ipoh to KLpac. Marching bands and kompang troupe are marking their way there too, so it will definitely be a massive house walking project, in gotong royong style of course! And followed by a kenduri in KLpac. Later in the afternoon, the house then will be converted into an open stage for hidden gems and closet performers. How cool is that?

In celebration with our coming National Day, the house-moving process will actually be filmed as 1Malaysia moment.

For now, I better pump up more irons ;)

Tutu and ball...

2010-06-13T07:27:00.000-07:00

...don’t go really well. I spent half the time watching the replays. And half the time making sure the stitches was right. Sadly tutu ended up a little too small, and I need more tulle! It's like half-baked cake now. Fern, guess I need to put off my tutu project for the next term break. Oh well, tutu and ball are never a brilliant combo from the start :|

I love my weekends. Lots of mini projects going around at home. With much of measuring, cutting and pasting, and Charlie Brown doodling for my pamphlet assignment, I even did a paper windmill myself! Messy colouring, thumbtack and pencil as a stick. Very child-liked, yes. I simply love, love, love paper projects!

Oh, I just got to know I will be involving in House Walking project :) Already started feeling excited now! Details up soon.

***

Besides Pepsi, I think this one tops the list. Enjoy :)

Average Ideal Day

2010-06-05T10:39:00.000-07:00

Whoa! We are actually in the month of June now, exactly half way through 2010!

Momentarily, January seems so far-fetched, to me at least. I’m not really in a contemplative mood, yet. But well, reflective enough.

Looking back 12 months ago, I was a new kid leaving the nest, making sense of things. And right now, I’m still making sense of things but just different things. Guess that’s what we human does all the time, always try to make sense of things.

Just the other day, my usual coffee session with Neil came to a point where our discussion of ‘Ideal Average Day’ popped up. Basically it’s an exercise with a list of guiding questions on “What’s your perfect average day would be, if there were no limitations consequences”. Simple questions like what time would you to wake up, what would you have for lunch, who would you eat with to what would your thoughts be as you went to sleep. Really, it’s no rocket science. I scanned through. And I can tell you, not much came out from my mind. Again, I need to do this properly, really diving inside my mind and perhaps take several hours to produce a 4-5 pages of answer (according to the instructions). Little skeptical but going to try it out anyhow.

Generally in life with play, work and studies closely intertwined, I would want to try a little harder this time, and take things from there. Trust me, it’s nothing too deep here.

Whatever it is, I’m still a happy and contented child. I’m always falling into blessings and anticipating the next 12 months to come.

This month I want to think a little more about my life, look around who I have and what I have with me.

And tell me, what’s your average ideal day?

Have a sip

2010-05-30T06:19:00.000-07:00

Busy. Be Right Back.

Oh Siyan!

2010-05-22T10:43:00.000-07:00

Stupid and sulk, I was feeling very much like this for two days. Thankfully my last term’s results were decent enough to make me smile a little. I did achieved what I wanted to achieve :)

Stupidity , too can be very much a humbling emotion. Guess you can say I’m being overly optimistic. But I'm sure it's like a fog walking on a ground, soon it will be gone. The truth is it did push me a little further, and drive me to learn a little more. I’m learning, learning the business, learning the real deal. Along the way, things got complex, evidently. I’m not stubborn, but I’m always a fighter. If things ever get hazy, I know at least I try, try casting away my everyday pragmatism.

Sometimes I wish my lows to be high, and my highs to be normal. Oh Siyan oh, you are such a difficult child!

Gypsy at the meadow

2010-05-14T08:45:00.000-07:00

The place is beautifully dry, nothing but a field of honey brown meadow, tucked in the town of Tronoh, Kampar. Who would have thought there is such a neat place in this little town?

Both girls- Fern and Aurelia had a photographing mission to accomplish, while Sarah and I were happily tagged along. We were very much occupied with a truck load of props! From dresses, accessories, sashes to flowers! Such a girly thing, I know :) While Fern and Aure were doing what they do best (they are old pro), both Sarah and I started snapping away with the Polaroid and iphone!

And I always love doing random spins, which I glad I did. Fern was brilliant enough to capture the real, genuine seconds and Sarah was sporting enough to join in the craze!

The fleeting moments of giggles and laughter, jumping high and low, spinning round and round- were all prettily captured. Sweet, just sweet.

Simply, we girls were easily amused by the lalang. Unfortunately the weather was not that encouraging. It was painfully hot, literally can boil an egg! Towards the end of shooting, we were all fairly roasted. Hee.

This trip was more of our little instance getaway, with a spirit of adventures and misadventures!

Silent Love

2010-05-08T10:40:00.000-07:00

"Marry if only you met the right one. But never settle for the second best. Always settle for the best!"

Ahh, that’s my mama!

With my mum, I try not to share too little too much with her. So I wouldn't say we are best friends or even close to Lorelai-Rory wannabe. She takes no parenting class. But everything turns out just perfectly fine, just the way we want it.

In many ways, we both share a mutual respect, binded with lots of unspoken love in between. The casual tone. The sarcastic jokes. The common understanding. The undoubted faith.

Her gestures speak much of self-sacrificing. Like waking up with breakfast on table, the sweet fragrance of laundry lying on my bed, and oh... freshly cut fruits after dinner! Those are the things that put a smile on my face, just effortlessly.

I called the silent love.
Something that I have witnessed over the years. Something that makes her so strong. Sometimes I did wonder if I have the courage to be like her. I'm never the filial child. The courage to do what she’s doing now. I’m always curious and so, distracted with the outside world, chasing after butterflies and dreams. Perhaps, one day when I’m a mother of my own, I will have the courage.

And like any other mums, with so much of love and attention going around, there are always the constant reminders and the occasionally nagging. Still, she trusted both me and my sis enough to let us be who we are today, and where we stand today.

Home without mom wouldn't be complete.
That's what makes me love going back home. Home is where I can feel small again.

And I’m glad I remember how it feels like to be back home, to be her little girl.

I'm a cupcake

2010-04-28T04:17:00.000-07:00

Waking up to a breezy and slight chilly morning, standing by the wide window and staring out to the dimmed sky, with a bowl of oats still warm in my hand- for a split moment my sensory are heightened, there I resided in my small contented world. With little agenda in mind, time traveled seemingly slowly. Only then I realized how rarely I actually take pride and pleasure in such very simple things :)

That’s why I love today. Finally done and over with finals, and my uncontained happiness and joy are already sinking in!

Usually term break wouldn’t last for more than two weeks, and I determined to absorb as much as I can before my systems go all out again.

And there are things I need to do, want to do and love to do:

Baking Therapy (My usual choice would be Cheesecake, perhaps this time I will try my hands on Kuih Ketayap!)
~~Lots of cleaning and dusting (Study table, book shelf, cabinet, bags...and even my laptop)~~
~~Make space for my wardrobe~~
~~Defragmentation and error checking on hard disk~~
~~Download Avira Antivirus to replace NOD32~~
Figure out ways to remove dried ink stain from my rubber ducky
~~Download and rearranging songs in iTunes~~
~~Replace a new skin for my iPod~~
Make myself a new tutu
~~Arts and crafts for children ministry~~
Lunch with Boon Ken
~~Girl’s day/night out~~
~~Bum-bum community day~~
~~Monday night with sixers (Beer and chips!)~~
Write a lot a lot of letters
~~Finish my unfinished shoe-mending project~~
~~Family plans~~
~~Light travelling~~
Book reading (3 books in my summer reading list)
~~Be a couch potato (obtain my fairly dosage of House and How I Met Your Mother)~~
~~Exercise~~!

......Or else I can be lazy blob, how about that?

Little peek hole

2010-04-19T09:20:00.000-07:00

This week, I have an embarrassing story to tell...and the not-so-embarrassing one. Well not-so-embarrassing one is always boring, so let’s go with the embarrassing story.

Just the other day, I had some problems with my laptop and router. Not having the luxury to go online definitely was frustrating, don’t you think? So the first thing on a Saturday morning was to send both my laptop and router for a check-up. AHA, it was the password setting that caused such unhappiness!

After I got home, only then I spotted the antenna was a little weird looking. There was a missing part, and my router was left with a tiny and possibly, a harmless crack. Boo. Immediately I put my router on table, plugged in the cables, turned on my laptop (yes, I was that desperate to go online) but sadly it couldn’t work. So I tried the manual way by plugging into my USB port. Still, it couldn’t work. Tried using my sis’s laptop but to no avail. Immediately I dialed up my dad to make some arrangements, in hope to get a new router soon. At that moment, I was seriously thinking of purchasing a new router, the first to-do thing in a Monday morning! Pfft, speaking of Monday blue. Well, the tiny crack seemed to make so much sense to me...I mean you never know, the little thing might interfered with the broadcast or whatsoever *shrug*

Sis: Siyannnnn! Come, what is this?

Me: That’s the telephone cable.

Sis: *giving me what-the-hell look*

Me: OHHhhhhhhh....

The crack was indeed harmless. The truth is I happily had forgotten to plug in the telephone cable! Me being me, sometimes I can be such a ding dong! *slap head*

Perhaps one of these days I shall take you into my embarrassing stories 101. They are sheer entertaining!

And this has added to 102.

It’s not about eggs and bunnies

2010-04-10T08:22:00.000-07:00

There we go, the first quarter of the year has bygone *gasp* Damn, that’s fast!

In many ways, God has crafted many new experiences for me. And I thank God for His blessings, in however small or big.

Last week was the Passion Week- one of the most important weeks in Christian Calendar. And I spent the entire week fasting on my breakfast, praying and devoting...well, simply spending some quiet time with God. OH yes, this year I do feel more connected, both emotionally and spiritually and in some ways I did see a spiritual growth in myself. Indeed, I’m increasing in Christ, gradually :)

I know I’m not really an evangelistic Christian (perhaps not a good person to go to when comes to biblical studies) and I’m pretty much still a strong believer of “You have a choice and Everything in moderation” but that doesn’t make me a less Christian, just that I show my worship and thankfulness to God in my own way. Like what some people said, going to church doesn’t make one a Christian either. For me, I just believe in living a Christian’s life. It speaks much volume and like always, it makes a good testimonial.

This month I am back to teaching in Sunday school. Some times kids are the sweetest, coolest, funniest, loving, most genuine and most wonderful little darlings ever. But at times, it’s just stubbornness and kamikaze disobedience! We had an arts and crafts session for Easter, and kids being kids, they got distracted easily, were start poking each other and throwing glue across the table. I was quite wishy-washy with their discipline. I want them to have fun learning. It gone a little messy but that was the whole idea of arts and crafts!

Kids behaving badly are just normal part of growing up. Very soon, they will move into the ‘big kid’ phase. On the flip side, I don’t want to under-estimate the child’s potential or be a pushy teacher or be the one with deluded expectations or smother the child. Sadly, they have somehow grow into their little confined boxes- scared of getting their hands dirty, afraid to colour outside the line, and thought apples are always red! See, I don’t want to hold the kids back or keep them wrapped up in a cotton wool anymore!

Sarah's new toy- fujifilm instax mini 7S. She is very much one happy child *beam*

So what’s my cherry for this week? Besides assignments have been clearing up now and guess what? Sarah took a Polaroid picture of me! A fun-sized picture and this is my second Polaroid, loves!

And oh, see my posted pictures? It’s side by side now :) Pictures look compressed though, don't think my blog layout fit for big and wide picture. Ngeh.

Simple, just like that

2010-04-03T10:27:00.000-07:00

I was flattered by her comments.

Maybe Fern is right, I should pick up a camera more often!

Yay! Big pictures. But still...am playing around the html codes on how to place the pictures side by side. How to place pictures side by side in Blogger 101 perhaps?

On second thought, maybe the x-large picture is a little to giant to fit in my blog layout, don't you think?

Happy Toe

2010-03-27T09:27:00.001-07:00

It was the perfect day to tilt my head up, stare at the marshmallow-liked clouds and laugh at the sky.

It has been long that I walking barefoot on lush grass, basking in warm sunshine, dancing under the rain, and simply acting all silly! Time appeared to travel slowly and for momentarily, I felt like I was in a far far away land.

The girls and I just loved how the weather was so pleasant, the lighting was so pretty, and the grass was so soft! We had a great, great time admiring the landscape, capturing the frame of lights and shadows, cracking ourselves up and feeling all contented. Towards the night, wind was breezy and stars were bright...exactly the perfect chilling spot for a cold beer! Sadly we didn’t have any. Next time, girls, next time. We ended our night with loud music in car, speeding through highway and a crazy hairdo! Hah. That was the ultimate girl’s day out so far, if you ask me.

I love how the pictures turned out! So many pretty pictures that I don’t know where to start, and which to pick! It makes me feel like one happy kid in a candy store :)

I have absolutely fallen in love with Putrajaya. Another happy place in my list.

***

Cheers to a good closing

2010-03-19T10:18:00.000-07:00

It has been a long week, and when I mean long, I mean really long. At one point, I feel like a Chinese acrobat- in a constant state of finely multiple balancing, spinning plates on sticks....if any of the plates would slightly tip over, all hell breaks loose. Gah, I’m trying to be a good juggler here.

Again, not all stories have a fairy tale ending. I have to say balancing both work and studies all at the same time is not as easy as balancing a see-saw, of course. Well, I don’t want to be sound like a grumpy old lady but boss will always be boss, and sometimes it can be a pain in the ass. It doesn't help much that I’m working in a small but competitive industry with everyone knows everyone! Like it or not, unwelcoming politics and mind-playing games would just come naturally knocking at your door. Yet as it says, ‘what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.’

To be fair, I’ll have to confess the learning curve is wide and there is ample room for learning, exploration and possibly, a breakthrough. Personally, I’m taking my baby steps into something...hopefully, bigger and better. And there came a time when I questioned myself on what I really want, the direction that I’m heading to...and I hope all these will spark something in me that would make 2010 a wonderful year.

For the past week, especially over at Mobile Youth Unconference, I had been meeting a lot of my peers who are inspiring and engaging in their very own way. I hate to use the word but yea...networking. You know, it sounds like friends for benefits. Hah.

Honestly, I would have to say the Unconference is indeed nothing but a bold move- pioneering in wanting to change the landscape of the youth market is definitely ambitious! The concept behind was pretty much experimental and most often, people are not ready to see things in a certain way. In one way or the other, the end results might not have a very much big impact in anyone of us rather a ground for us to meet people and make friends. So it was a good start.

***

I can freely admit to you, I was so needed a break in the midst of these layered and entwined moments. Yay for me, because I had one of the best evening outing so far, with the girls over at Putrajaya with pleasant weather, good company, pretty lightings and lots of laughter going around! Bliss, just bliss :)

And oh, today I had waffle with ice cream, and a good old root beer float at A&W! Definitely classic!

There, a good closing to end my weekdays! And there are the weekends to look forward to- girl’s day out with sis on Saturday and of course, church on Sunday-moments of serenity and healing.

Anyway I hope you have a lovely weekend ahead :)

Dream Catcher

2010-03-12T08:33:00.000-08:00

Am I chasing after butterfly or diamond? Can I have both?

It's nothing glamorous, it's life.

Sometimes I just need to sit down and think.

That's all.

My Humble Pie

2010-03-06T07:16:00.000-08:00

I woke up at 9am today. And I was out since this morning, then came home about 6pm....when I just thought everything was (almost) done, err...there are actually more to come.

Last week was a little tough on me. Small angers just not worth holding on, soon enough it will be forgotten, and eventually things got better. I just don’t want to be an angry kid. I can’t win them all, but there were much give and take to go around.

Oh, today I got myself a new hair cut! Remember what I always say, a girl can only dream of a pixie cut, and one fine day, I will settle for a pixie look.? Well the truth is I never really have much guts to chop all off so mine is not exactly a pixie cut, but short enough :) In fact I do love it, and the good thing about hair is, you know, ultimately it grows back.

Besides hair cut on a Saturday, I was too invited to attend a press interview for Mobile Youth. Yes, my very first taste of being an interviewee :) Interviews were done by Sham from R.A.G.E and pictures were taken by an abang. A little lime light was enough to make me felt like a fish out of water. Awkwardness pose and spluttering words, Hah. Again for a first timer like me, it was nothing but an enjoyable and humble experience. And a nice story to tell to my children and grandkids next time!

There will be some major preparations for these upcoming days. Busy busy busy. Really can't wait for this week to be over and done with, so that I can let my hair down (not as if I have much hair to let loose now) over the weekends. Being offered to be in one of those 9 youth panels, to me, is a blessing. Having said that, 3 teams were given the luxury of pitching ideas to some of the big shots and key decision makers out there, and my team was one of the three. Of course I am as excited as my teammates and surely, I want them to learn as much as I do. I guess it is fair for me to say, opportunities like that don’t just come and go, and in many ways, it is value adding. One thing though, I scoffed off the fact that I am regarded as a youth trend setter.

And the thought how I got myself to where I am now, remain unclear and seems effortlessly. But still there are so many things for me to learn and see, it only makes me feel so tiny.

I’m feeling lukewarm

2010-02-27T08:16:00.000-08:00

Feeling annoyed is just plain terrible. It is not cold. It is not hot. It is the feeling of neither this nor that. Just in between. Lukewarm.

I hated the feeling of lukewarm.

Love in Autumn

2010-02-15T20:36:00.000-08:00

Oh yea, finally I watched (500) days of summer, my most anticipated movie of the year. Year 2009 precisely. (With a box of tissue beside me, am down with flu...Gah!)

The story is relatively simple. Rather the story is every kind of love story which should have been told but isn’t. It is story of The Ugly Truth that nobody wants to hear.

Don’t expect any generic Hollywood romantic fare and all that jazz from this movie. Simply put, it is nothing like your neighbourhood love story.

The story begins with boy meets girl. Boy falls for girl. Girl doesn’t. Tom (Gordon-Levitt) believes in true love and fairy tales but not Summer (Deschanel). Nonetheless, Tom goes for the ride and falls for Summer, which sort of spells disaster from the start. Then the portrayal of Expectations and Reality comes to play, through a nifty split screen with Tom expecting to reconcile with Summer on one side, and reality check of that never happening on the other end.

p/s: If ever Reality comes knocking at your door, be prepared to breathe in and smile!

In keeping with the film’s playfully unorthodox nature, they featured a host of offbeat soundtracks from The Smiths, Feist, Black Lips, Regina Skeptor, and Carla Bruni. Personally I enjoy listening to every single piece of it! And I find the portrayal of relationships between Tom and Summer was adorably choreographed. It was quirky, honest and childlike, very much to my liking. And oh, I love Summer’s 60 fashion too- the lacy blouse, the floral dress, the A-line skirt, the high waist pants and Tom’s boyish charm definitely pull off the preppy looking vest and tie.

Realistically speaking, I could relate with Summer’s choice of personal space and freedom and Tom’s understanding of Love and Fate. I am neither Summer or Tom. A little of both. I am somewhat in between.

***

Mooing out, Roaring in

2010-02-12T08:08:00.000-08:00

Hello February!

Photo by Bboyrice

I can’t believe that we’re in the month of February now, and pretty soon we are nearing at the end of February! Mine January and February were packed with celebrations, parties, dinners and bittersweet goodbyes.

There are just so many things to sink in. In fact, I am still stinking in. On last Wednesday, I sent Ling off to airport. As expected, she made me cried. Or maybe it was the other way round. And lately the days have turned tremendously hot and the sun is just terribly scorching! Today I just had my early reunion dinner with Grandma, while the German pork knuckles are still digesting in my tummy now. Hmm hmm. And there is, of course, Chinese New Year to look forward to and ang pows to hunt down. And I simply can’t wait to sink my teeth into all the goodies!

My family does not have a big family so as usual, the first two days of hoo-ha visiting and follow by some lazy afternoons together with no plans :)

But I do have plans, sort of. Besides eat, sleep, eat more, and sleep more, I have chores to do, work needed to be done, studies to catch up, books to read, movies to watch, and letters to write. I am going to spend my one week long holidays by loving and pampering myself, that’s for sure- laze around on the couch, open up each jar, one by one, and savor each cookie. Good old love letters are still my favourite :)

Have a blessed and fantastic Chinese New Year! Roar.

The girl who painted the town yellow

2010-02-05T06:53:00.000-08:00

“ Dear Ling,
The day has come for you to
unfold your wings and
fly,
put on your running shoes and
run,
.........I shall see you some time, some day

With much love,
Siyan”

***

“Dearest Siyan,
...You are one true friend that I know will stand the test of time and distance.
....we just pick up right where we left off. And we can just be so forthright honest with each other. ....and I just know neither time nor distance nor my absence will change anything

With lots of Love and Hugs,
Su Ling”

***

She is leaving to Australia with a heavy heart and I’m, saving my tears for some other day.

Standing Tall

2010-01-29T23:34:00.000-08:00

I have a confession to make.

I’m afraid of height. Not too much that got me go weak on knees, but just enough to keep me paranoid.

Standing tall on a huge rock, which seemed like larger than life over at a mountain top made me felt so tiny. Looking down to an endless and what seemed like an eternal depth reminded me that I am but a speck in this world. Fixing my eyes on the cloud and beyond the borderless frame, yet I felt like I was on top of the world, momentarily. I guess this is why people marveled over Mother Nature. So unpretentious.

Broga Hill is a pretty neat place for hiking, especially for the amateurs. Except I hate to admit it is just a little too overrated. Imagine 10 tripods poking up on each hilly top! You do the math. There are in total of three hilly tops, so that will make about 30 tripods! You know, it really can be an eyesore. Besides that, everything is just beautiful. I didn’t manage to enjoy the sunrise (boo). But I landed myself on a gigantic rock enjoying marshmallow-liked fogs moving gracefully away from the hill. The air was fresh, the scene was green, the time was still, and everything in between was silently breathe taking!

Racing with Ivan up to the hilly top did me no justice. I really do need to put on my jogging shoes and work out often. I should start looking after my health and diet regime before my age is catching up. Like mama always says, start when you’re young. It doesn’t help that I’m inspired to climb mount KK this year!

While to keep my ambition a little more sensible, I’m embarking into going places 101 with my girls- exploring around town and fresh places. One down and we have 11 more places to go!

Of make-up, piñata and among the many sweet surprises!

2010-01-22T09:46:00.000-08:00

Friends asked me what it is like to be hitting the age of 21. Eer, becoming an adult I guess. Oh should I rephrase, officially an adult! I think I put more effort on planning my 21st birthday more then putting much though on being 21! I would be the lousiest liar if I say I’m not looking forward to the celebration. So just let’s say being 21 is like opening another chapter of my life with the story continues still.

At the year of celebrating my 21 years of life, I learned two things. First, getting a park for a birthday celebration is no peanut task. Either they are too far, too exclusive or too public. And getting the paper work done was even more frustrating. After the much highs and lows, eventually I settled down for TTDI Park. I would say it is pretty neat and decent! With that in mind, I have decided to either build my very own park or marry a land developer :)

Secondly are the relationships that I shared with others. Not just the birds and bees I’m talking about, but family members, best friends, close friends, or merely acquaintances. Indeed I’m blessed. Very much blessed with beautiful friends.

Really, there is so much to talk about on my big 21 celebration.

Let’s see. There is, of course the make-up. I got my make-up done by Jonathan and was sponsored by Artistry. Coincidently my friend was looking for a model to be featured in her make-up demonstration show. With much curiosity and wish of looking all pretty for party, I decided to don a little color on my face. And there, I had my very first make-up done by a male profession! I don’t get pay for advertising but Artistry do plastered really well on my face after 4 hours of being sweaty and sticky.
And of course the many sweet surprises! As I thought the party has ended, and after headed down to Sid’s Pub (Finally! I have always wanted to go there), I would just hit home and have a nice hot shower. It was near midnight, and I was this close to spend my real birthday in the shower room which I sort of did. Hey, a nice hot shower is not that bad! But little do I know my friends have something up their sleeves.

And there, I had another surprise to end the day! My eyes were teary with their thoughtful gestures, the pretty cards, and the great company! (The cute balloons are enough to make me smile)

The Sixers- whom I loved very much. The bond we shared is remarkable. Everyday is a new day for us, to discover and learn a little more about each other and ourselves. There is always something for us to share, to talk, or simply laugh- well I’m sure we all had a good time laughing at my broken Canto! How we developed this friendship, and what make us friends as real friends never failed to amuse me sometimes.

The Uni-mates. Some I had known for 2 years now, some are whom I just stumbled upon. As we walk down the road, together we will make tons of discoveries, however big or however small. And that, I can tell you, it is what makes the friendship going.

Some are really old friends. When I say old, I really mean old. For at least 5 years. Yet my memory on every single one of them is still fresh in mind. It seems like I just known them yesterday! There’s Zhe, who supported and helped me tremendously while we were in student body. Ling, the one I shared many fond memories with, will soon be flying off to Adelaide pursuing passion of her own. And Ivan, someone who I merely know 5 years back and now, who would have thought we can be this close.

There are friends and loved ones who are across the globe- Chris, Jeanne, Han, YoungLove and Kotts-they are the ones who are far and away.

And there is someone who I'm really grateful of. She is more than just a friend. She is a close friend. With me, she is my twin. My partner in crime. She is the spicy chili in my Tandoori. She is the siren, the drum, the fireworks and the sparkle. She is a wonderful friend with a great big heart and personality. This one is for you, Ser! I hope you know that :)

I wanted a childliked park party with pinata and balloons, and there I had one.

Indeed I am reliving my childhood!

Ohh, meet my new friend- Curly the poney!

p/s: Enjoy! Definitely worth to laugh again when I hit another milestone- 30!

Over an empty mug

2010-01-13T21:34:00.000-08:00

*blow* It’s time to sweep off the spiraling spider web off my blog now. I know, it has been long enough.

New term has just started. It is always exciting and anxious all at the same time. Knowing that it is going to be a hectic semester with heavy workload ahead of me, yet there is abundance of rare opportunities for me to grow and learn as a person, I really am torn in between!

Very soon, assignments will start piling up and charging towards me. I can smell them coming, hah. At the mean time, I am still doing freelancing as usual. For this upcoming event, I am really anticipating it- working together with fantastic people in the team is both comforting and inspiring. Really, no complains so far. More... yea, that’s more. I do have something up my sleeve now-trying to pursue and venture something novel and fresh. And something novel and fresh comes with problems and obstacles. I being the little miss sunshine do have faith and am always hoping for the best.

And all of the sudden, I am in the phase of re-adjusting myself between work and studies. It’s like balancing a seesaw. It’s a choice. And I made my own choice. I never really much stand out in a crowd, but am ambitious. Not for the crave of praises but purely the thrill of challenges. Falling short of driving myself forward maybe is my worst nightmare ever!

But I will never forget to dream. It feeds my passion. Travelling and seeing a little pocket of the world through my own eyes- well, that’s pretty much a very big chunk of my dream.

For now, I need to walk...walk to somewhere farther, somewhere bigger, somewhere my passion for life brings me :)

I don’t want to run through life so fast.

My love story with...

2010-01-11T00:31:00.000-08:00

macarons continues.

Bedmate got me three macarons from Hong Kong. I had chocolate, raspberry and vanilla. And yes, it’s funny but sweet of how she remembers things sometimes.

The macarons are so tiny like the size of my two thumbs and very fragile too! They are pretty looking though.

Now I’m a happy kid.

Do I still love them as I do before? Maybe.

Friendly alphabets

2010-01-05T05:56:00.000-08:00

Flipping the calendar over, to the unfamiliar page but to the familiar month.

Well, you have me at 2010.

Curtain Call

2009-12-30T07:45:00.000-08:00

Why wait?

The year of 2010 is going to take me somewhere. I don’t know where. But somewhere. And I have a good feeling about it.

***

When I was much younger, I used to write down all my New Year resolutions and aspirations in a spring-bound notebook. Silly, but it somehow makes me feel like a better person. As I grow a little older, I realize I don’t follow half of the resolutions, so what’s more with fulfilling them. And I don’t find myself a lousy being either :)

This goes to prove one thing. New Year resolutions are a great head start, but definitely not something that is sustainable. At least for me. Perhaps for you too. Or maybe both of us! So I usually stick with some thing that is more general, or rather vague. Like to be a healthier person! Folks, eat your greens and work on your muscles :)

I’m no party pooper. So go gather some close friends, grab a couple of cold beers and burp a few rounds!

Have a blessed 2010, everyone! Let’s roll :)

Closing Time

2009-12-28T01:24:00.000-08:00

Buildings with early day’s architecture have never failed to fascinate me. The every detail matters from the crinkly wall, the crooked window to the cracked door. They look beautiful in pictures and beyond the four frames. In awe I admire.

Another thing I marveled upon is swings. Swings by the beach, blending in with the sunset, the inner child in me is satisfied.

It has been quite some time, about 7 years or so I last visited Penang. So many things have taken place- narrower streets, busier roads, new faces, and sprouting buildings- time has long change the landscape. The only thing that doesn’t really change much is the weather. Penang is very much sunny and breezy, so it was a good escape from the rainy weather here.

This year around, grandma decided to stay put for good. At the ripe old age of 92, despite walking a much slower pace, poor hearing and blurry vision, she is still a young lady at heart who is glowing with health. Indeed, grandma has came from a long, long way- she is a daughter, sister, wife, mother, grandma, great grandma, teacher, friend, and a traveler. Grandma served humbly as a high school teacher for more than 3 decades, the truth is she is lucky enough to be educated. For the past years, she travelled to many places, one after another, and finally she returns to her homeland. Running through her wardrobe and jewelry boxes is so tempting that I landed myself a piece of white vintage blouse! Definitely not the flowery grandma clothing! Don't be surprise that some of my jewelry pieces are from her too! One thing about her, she is never the typical sitting-on-the-rocking-chair of grandma. She is a light smoker, and still smokes at the very day. In this case, you may want to call her cool. I told you, she doesn’t fit in the stereotypical grandma. She avoids smoking in front of her grandchildren, but we know well. I see nothing wrong with it, but unhealthy, that’s all. With her age now, as long she is happy, that is what really matters. She insisted of staying alone, all by herself, and I admire her gusto in silent. Her close friend of 60 years drops by every other day, just to keep her company, gradually it has been part of the routine. Now I see why, why she insisted that. It has always been the craving of feedom to be everything she naturally is, to do things the way she likes- that is what defining her life.

Admittedly, I have few words but good words of grandma. Listening to her tales on a Christmas night had put sheen of moisture on my eyes and a choke up in my throat.

This time, my trip down to Penang was...no one right word can accurately describe it. It is so complex with nostalgia, poignant and nonchalant running parallel all at the same time!

Let’s wrap up

2009-12-21T06:19:00.000-08:00

God has been good.

At one point, I thought this year is just like any other year, with the usual humdrum errands. But I was wrong. In fact this year, I created my many first milestones in life. From my lingering doubts of leaving the bird nest, and settling down comfortably in my current lifestyle to exploring the different interests and endless opportunities, indeed I had went through a little too much. Looking back, all these seem so far away now.

Nope, I am not complaining. Rather I am thankful. Grateful. And contented with the amazing people I met, the little conversations I made, the beautiful places I travelled, and among the many other things. I thank God for my family who are fit in health, for the bills are paid, for the food on the table and shelter above the head. These are the everyday things that make life so real.

No one has everything, but everyone has something. We always want something more, something better, and something bigger. Enough is never enough. We are just so funny like that. But I can tell you somewhere behind the rainbow always lay a little storm, yet behind the little storm always lay the silver lining. Regardless how hard life flings at us, or how heavy problems weight us down, at the end of the day, we still can float up, up and away.

I am learning to appreciate the heroism of the ordinary. If we take a step back to marvel at the magnificence of the mundane, life isn't so bad after all.

So in this jolly season, take some time off to dance. To sing. To draw. To write. To read. To kiss. To hug. To laugh.

And to be grateful. Jolly oh jolly!

For the love of macarons

2009-12-13T00:56:00.000-08:00

I love macarons

When I first saw this flaky and tempting looking tiny morsel, strangely I grew this sense of curiosity and fondness, although I have never eaten one before.

It is strange sometimes how I can admire with something that I absolutely know nothing about.

I wonder how this French pastry taste likes with its creamy filling.

Oh, macarons...where can I find you?

One down, three more to go

2009-12-10T06:58:00.000-08:00

You know the phase of I can’t wait to get over and done with finals...yeah, you get me. I can tell you my mind is far and away from finals now. Definitely not in a right mental state. No anxiousness, not even a single bit of nail biting moment. I am already in the post exam celebration mood! Lick a candy cane and I am all cheery and merry! With more and more friends coming back from Down Under for holidays, it only makes things harder for me. Believe it or not, I had all plans lined up for this upcoming week even before I started sitting for my finals!

It must be one of that Decembery thingy. *focus siyan focus!*